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The Kindest person one will ever meet. He usually stands below 6 foot but has kindness in his green eyes that make him seem 6'6". He does not shy from a challenge as Brandon's are successful in any venture they dive into. These creatures don't seem human because they work harder than humanly possible. If you meet a Brandon, your eyes will melt with tears as he hacks your rhythmless heart and quickly overrides your emotions ultimately bringing a state of eternal euphoria.
Girl 1: Hehehe I met this BRANDON the other day...
Girl 2: YAAAAAA
Girl 1: I think I'm in love with him!!!
Girl 2: OMFG!!!!!
Girl 3: What's his last name?
Girl 1: It starts with an S or something. But why do you care he's mine?
Girl 2: YA BITCH BACK OFF
Girl 3: okay okay
Girl 1 and Girl 2: HEHEHEHE
(as they run off into the distance thinking about Brandon and leaving Girl 3)
Someone who is a great friend, you can talk to them about anything and they’ll never judge you. Has a girlfriend who he loves with all his heart, is also amazing at sports
Brandon is a great friend I just had a conversation with him about some issues I’m having and he offered me some great insight also is a beast at football
The beefiest guy you have ever met. This man has the biggest muscles and thickest calves you have ever seen. He can lift 50 fucking tons with his bare hands but a basic paper cut and they'll be bleeding out on the floor.
Aye, you see that fucking Brandon over there
Yeah, I just wanna go touch those calves
The single greatest president in U.S. history.
In just the first 2 years of his term, he:
Pulled us out of Afghanistan
Handed out over 1000$ in free money to everybody.
Ended Roe V. Wade
Has not gotten the U.S. in a single war
Ended Covid
BTFO’d liberal colleges by canceling student loans
Reunited America by declaring all haters domestic terrorists
The Pope: Brandon, have you completed your mission?
Brandon: Yes, your holiness, they still think I’m senile. Next, this debt jubilee will crush the Protestant work ethic.
A religion created to follow a variety of gods. Brandon is the term used to define a god-like figure and an almighty being.
In following Brandonism, you are sharing the beliefs that there is an almighty god and that you yourself will earn the right to become a god once you have reached self control, integrity and wisdom. Once you have reached these virtues, a wisdom beard shall be necessary in completing the process, and claiming your right as a member of Brandonism.
"I follow Brandonism as I helped save a boy from drowning today. I also learnt how to keep calm and I travelled to Japan to learn the ways of the wise. I have now grown my beard and now am apart of Brandonism."
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A Brandon is one of the coolest people alive! He always loves talking about his hobbies and things he likes to do, and then he wants to share them with you. He will protect people out of the kindness of his heart! If you know a Brandon, make sure to make him feel appreciated.
"Whatcha doin?"
"Playing Pokemon with Brandon."
"Sounds Fun!"
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