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Mel Gibson Defense

Using alcoholism to cover one's mistakes, like blaming Jews for all the world's wars. You can pretty much say anything you want, as long as your drunk it doesn't count. You also get special treatment later because you have a problem.

Jim call his boss a douche bag but he didn't get fired. He used the Mel Gibson Defense and actually ended up getiing a promotion for admitting his problem. Fucking Shithead!!

by Superfli21 November 14, 2006

286๐Ÿ‘ 33๐Ÿ‘Ž


9/11 Defense

1. A mechanism in which you invoke the spirit of the legislation, executive directive, and politcal mindset used in the wake of the 9/11 terrorist attacks to justify inappropriate, unethical, extreme, or illegal behaviors one involves themselves in.

Person: How'd you get away with taking pictures of your neighbor through her window?

You: Well, she is an imigrant - so ya know, 9/11 defense.

Person: aaaah, nice.

by JackSpayed October 23, 2009

312๐Ÿ‘ 38๐Ÿ‘Ž


Pee-Wee Defense

The Peewee Defense is the defense employed during an argument by somebody who is bad at debate (or is trying to argue a really stupid point), generally when all other forms of defense have been exhausted or they otherwise run out of options. It consists of one individual attempting to turn the debate against the opponent by accusing them of the exact same statements being used by the opponent.

"Only an idiot would rely on the Pee-Wee Defense to win an argument."
"I know you are, but what am I?"

by Kipu October 23, 2013


cover 2 defense

Borrowed from football terminology, this is the protective posture assumed by any guy who thinks he is about to get hit in the nads. The dude quickly closes his legs and shields his crotch with both hands so that he doesn't get racked.

I told him that his Mom was hot and then immediately went into the cover 2 defense.

by whiteboyDJ October 28, 2009

88๐Ÿ‘ 10๐Ÿ‘Ž


anti-slut defense

A female defense mechanism to ensure that others can will not, or should not, label her as a slut. These can be either excuses, resistance to advances, or blaming others for her choices.

Girl: "I can't sleep with you, I don't really know you."
Guy: "Ok, the anti-slut defenses have triggered I see"

by backtrackdefine April 2, 2016

37๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


Joy Reid defense

A quasi legal but technologically illiterate attempt to blame embarrassing or incriminating social media or blogging activity on 'hacking' by a sophisticated, imaginary third party. E.g:
โ€œI learned that an unknown, external party accessed and manipulated material from my now-defunct blog, The Reid Report, to include offensive and hateful references that are fabricated and run counter to my personal beliefs and ideology,โ€

A: hey so as you know I'm totally stoked about running for office this fall but it turns out some random guy 'hacked' my Facebook and posted a bunch of racist shit like 5 years ago but I only just noticed now.
B: ok but that seems kind of implausible so did that actually happen or are you just Joy Reid defense'ing me right now?
A: ...

by McFly. Brundle McFly September 5, 2018

7๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Home Defense Musket

A copypasta talking about the use of american revolution weaponry as home defense weaponry

Home Defense Musket: Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

by Fueled by adhd November 12, 2021