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If you were alive in the 80s and 90s, you enjoyed watching scrambled porn as a child.
You see, pornography used to be broadcast on a thing called "cable television." But, not just anyone could watch it. You had to pay extra for that. If you didn't, the pornographers would "scramble the signal" which resulted in the channel displaying trippy and occasionally beautiful colors garnished with a fleeting nipple or better. The audio was also scrambled, and sounded like aggressive static spiked with moans.
Boys, it was awesome, and not in an erotic way per se. It seems silly to reflect on it, on my self, to see it in writing. Nonetheless, scrambled porn represents was a more human, more authentic time. And, I, for one, am honored to bear this priceless 90s artifact unto our posterity.
I was having a sleepover at my buddy's house, but I had to go home so I could jerk-off because we were watching scrambled porn.
To complete an action so quickly it becomes inaccurate.
If he hadn’t have done his homework so fast the teacher wouldn’t have accused him of completing it scrambly
When one desperately attempts to text or call at least one person to deliver them weed.
My dog just ate all my weed, anyone wanna scramble?
The more realistic version of "Blended family" - not all smooth and homogeneous, but instead kind of lumpy.
We're not the Brady Bunch - we're more of a Scrambled family!
The odd mix of horny dudes and desperate drunk girls looking to hook-up after the bar closes
She went home with him after the usual sausage scramble post-bars
Has a physical or metaphorical resemblance to a rectum that has not been pounded or flattened, but roughly chopped, lightly blended, possibly, gently puréed.
Y'all about as useful as a bag of scrambled assholes.
He hit the ground so hard his face looked like a scrambled asshole.
To masturbate with a hand warmer before you enter her vagina and when she cums her egg is scrambled from the warm dick.
Scrambling Eggs- "Shit, Kyle really went to town scrambling eggs last night!"