Bed Bounce

When vigorous sexual activity occurs in a bed

Andy : So this is your Bedroom wow if only these walls could talk!
Kiersten : Yeah I go through a different mattress about every 6 month's!
Andy : So do you wanna make that Bed Bounce or what?
Kiersten : I thought you'd never ask!
Andy: Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!
Kiersten: Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Oh Jesus Christ! AHHHHHHHH! OOOOOOOOO!
Andy : Oh my god the Bed's Bouncing now!
Kiersten : Don't stop keep cumming!
Andy : AHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Kiersten : O Andy marinade me!
Andy : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Kiersten : MMMMMM! You forgot my pussy!
Andy : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Kiersten : And my legs!
Andy : Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Kiersten : Don't forget my tummy!
Andy: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Kiersten : Wow your dick is so strong and you can really pack the cum!
Andy : Yeah girls like it when I pound and season them!

25👍 5👎

Shitting The Bed

Fucking up

Gary Grundle pissed on himself during sex. He shit the bed.

95👍 23👎

Bed Shadow

The warm outline of your body you leave behind when rolling over in bed.

"Wifey, please stop leaving such a warm bed shadow in the morning... It's too cozy to get up."

smollett the bed

Fail miserably in a public manner by jumping to conclusions before facts develop.

Let's wait for all the facts, and not smollett the bed with this one.

bed snob

A bed snob is a person who is very particular of which beds they will sleep in. For the bed snob, the bed must meet a minimum criteria and the bed snob has been known to spend an obscene amount of money to construct such bed. Starting with a proper mattress and box spring selection to linens and finally, pillows. A bed snob will stop at nothing to have the most comfortable bed. So comfortable, that when people come to visit and sleep in your bed, guests will go on and on about how fantastic your sheets are or how soft your pillows are. They rave about how well they slept and haven't slept that well in a LONG time and, finally, vow to go straight home and become the ultimate snob bed and pass on their knowledge.

Do not offer a bed snob an air mattress (unless you never want these people to visit you ever again). A bed snob requires adjustable mattresses, high thread count sheets and matching down pillow/comforter set.

Bed shift

When you fall asleep on the couch but wake up on the bed.

Son- Hey mom did you move me to my bed?
Mom- No.
Son- But i fell asleep on the couch...
Mom- Must have been a bed shift.

bed banana

A millennial who does nothing but lie in bed all day on their phone or laptop watching Netflix/YouTube, playing video games, or browsing social media. Analogous to previous generations' "couch potato."

Ahmed, has been in bed watching Netflix all day; Ahmed, stop being such a bed banana.