reach out to myself

A euphemism for masterbation.

This is a common grammatical mistake for the phrase, “reach out to me” in corporate culture.

I couldn’t find a date so I guess I’m gonna just reach out to myself tonight.

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top ace myself

One who considers themself to be a top notch drinker. One who is able to consume mass quantities of alcohol, while pacing themself.

I used to be a top ace myself. I could drink anyone under the table!

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punch myself in the face

V. To stimulate the penis with your hand to cause orgasm and ejaculation. Male masturbation.

I am going to go home and punch myself in the face, then go to sleep.

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saving myself for the marriage

an answer from the non-at&t customer to the perennial question of why s/he has yet to purchase an iphone; refers to the long-anticipated but yet-to-be consummated full-on hookup between apple's iphone and verizon wireless; may never happen

so smug iphone owner goes: no iphone yet buddy? don't you want to live in 2010-land with the rest of us hip kids?

and non-at&t customer comes back: no sir, i value the wholesome relationship that i have with my current carrier and so i am saving myself for the marriage

smug iphone owner attempts to console: that android-loaded phone you've got there looks o.k. you know . . . you should really value what you have in life

non-at&t customer has the last word: keep that hippy bullshit to yourself champ, i am not the settling type

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hitting myself off

Hitting myself off involves the act of self satisfaction. It most commonly involves material, spiritual or substance induced gratification. To hit oneself off usually involves, but is not limited to, the ingestion of marijuana substance and a delicious meal. However, one can hit oneself off in various ways.

Hitting myself off is often used in this context...."Wow that blunt and clam chowder really hit me off at the Rt. 44 Diner on the way to Keuka."

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self-isolating-myself

uh. the new stupidest way to say - my brain has been destroyed because i am spending all of my time in my house watching tv for 2 years now.

"Yeah, yuo never know who has COVID, so I have been self-isolating-myself just to be safe".

I birthed Myself

I birthed myself.
-Lil Tay-

I birthed myself unlike all of you betamale soybois.