A used face mask that is discarded in the middle of a parking lot or other public place
I stepped out of my car and found a covid condom laying in the parking lot
People who keep a plastic screen sheath on their smartphone for protection despite the fact that it reduces the quality of their visual pleasure.
I can't understand people who use screen condoms, they never get to fully enjoy their screens. Even without protection, by the time the glass would be so unclear you'd most likely would be getting a new phone anyway...
the leftover glue on glue bottle cap that dries, blocking any other glue from coming out
Friend 1: Ach, the bloody glue won't come out!
Friend 2: Did you take the glue condom off the cap?
Friend 1: (peels glue condom off) Genius!
A cardboard sleeve made to insulate to-go coffee cups.
I did not use a coffee condom and my espresso got cold. I should learn to practice safe drinking.
The thin round piece of paper found in public restrooms. It is used to place on the toilet seat to protect oneself from ass fungus.
"Dude, they didn't have any crapper condoms in the mall restroom, so I shit my pants, but, you know, better safe than sorry."
A female condom can be placed directly in the pussy of a woman. It can be useful for a threesome when there is one guy and two girls. This way the guy can switch holes without sharing an STI between the two girls.
It can also be useful if a guy wants to switch between vaginal and anal sex with just one girl. By adding a female condom in both holes, it protects vaginal flora.
If a sexfriend tells me she knows another girl interested in a threesome, it will be more fun with female condoms!
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Having unprotected sex with your girlfriend or wife and praying to Jesus that you didn't get her pregnant.
What!? You can't be pregnant again, I was wearing a Jesus Condom.
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