Phone Lag

The amount of EXTRA time that disappears into the ether at a red-to-green light or the ADDITIONAL time shit-canned while moving forward in any line, primarily due to those obliviously lost starring into their phone.

Boss- You seem to be later than usual this morning?
You- Yea, left 15 mins early, but I experienced some serious Phone Lag during my commute, it's getting impossible to pre-determine these days.

You at Wally-Mart; ( standing with a puzzling look)

Your friend: You better get in line, what are are you waiting for?

You: I'm trying to calculate the Phone Lag we're about to experience either behind the shopping moms or the pack of Millennials???

brown phone

Slang term for the urge to expell one's bowels.

"I'm getting a customer service call on the brown phone."

Phone High

When two friends call each other high and have a meeting

Wanna have phone high?

poop
Anita Poop
Hugh Jass

oh hi.

pizza phone

When someone uses the hands-free speaker-phone feature on their phone then holds it in their hand and up to their mouth like it was a piece of pizza they are about to take a bite of.

"Is that guy driving about to take a bite out of his phone?!?"
"Ha! No, he's probably just using his pizza phone."
"Wow. That's stupid."

whore phone

A cheap phone that you only give the number to whores, so that they don't bother you on your regular phone.

Hey, that looks like a candidate for my whore phone!

Phone Shy

The inablility to talk on the phone due to extreme shyness.

Noel is too phone shy. I cant get her to have phone sex with me.

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Red Phone

The act of screening a call from family, a friend, or common acquaintance. Can have hazardous result depending upon the speed of the screen. Usually accomplished through a cell phone.

"Are you sure you called him, you were hardly on the phone."

"It went straight to his answering machine. He red phoned me back to the stone age."

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