New New York Pubic Library

Also known as the adult bookstore, located in Central New New York in the year 3010.

Sal: I’m going to back the adults bookstore.
Fry: Adult bookstore? I thought this was the public library.
Bender: No, pubic library!
Me: It’s the New New York Pubic Library!

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George W. Bush Presidential Library

A pretty good joke. A man more infamous for anti-intellectualism than anyone in history having a library for a memorial is pretty goddamn funny.

Welcome to the George W. Bush Presidential Library, please leave your books at the door.…yeah right there, in that burning pile.

/ignore this Google Bomb:

George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library

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Folger Shakespeare Library High School Fellowship Program

da place where all da bitchez come to learn da language of loooove.

we also study this dead guy named Bill Shakes. It's pretty awesome. All the bitchez are smart and nerdsy, and all of them are gorgeous.

at least 3 out of the sixteen will be extremely pretentious. and at least 50% of the total male population will be gay.

if youre not a hipster, youre a nerd. if youre not a nerd, youre a sloot.

Sloot: Hey, so you going to the Folger Shakespeare Library High School Fellowship Program today?

Hipster: yea, I decided to dress like Shakespeare to get in the mood.

Kid #1: ME TOO!

Sloot: OMG. THAT'S SO HAWT.

Nerd: ....I want to be Hamlet.

Entire class: LET'S ALL BE HAMLET

Sloot: naww i wanna be Ophelia. mmmmm Hamlet's meats.

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Library Grunter

Grunts, moans, and sighs that sounds awkwardly similar to dropping a deuce, watching porn or even slow sex. Very common for the culprit to have headphones on and be unaware of their inappropriate library sounds.

Emma was studying diligently in the library when the sounds of a library grunter penetrated her eardrum making her geology homework nearly impossible to focus on.

Library Shenanigans

When peeps and/or animals display deplorable behavior in a Library in order to gain attention, while on an epic adventure.

Librarian: "You there playing loud muzak, eating an onion sandwich and dog-earing that encyclopedia... STOP the *&*@! Library Shenanigans right this minute!"
Library Patron: "Oops, sorry - I was reading some cool non fiction stories and just wanted people to notice ME because it's all about ME!"

public library

a large building near a city's downtown filled with books, children, and sleeping homeless people

"hey brother can you spare a dime?"
"shut up and go to the public library!"

"shit! i really need some books, homeless people, and children."
"dude, have you heard of the public library?"

Library Nazi

A librarian who is strict and hot tempered.

Librarian: "Hey whisper or shut up thisisa library people are trying to study, don't make me tell you twice!" Studentsays toother student. "Wow Mrs. B is one hard ass library nazi!"