to wag the dog

verb, transitive. To masturbate.

Mr X: So, did you get up to anything after we went to that strip club last night?
Mr Y: Not really, I thought about watching a movie but I was too busy wagging the dog

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wag the dog

What you do when your reality sucks

A: Hey let's go to a movie tonight
B: I'm feeling Meh. I think I'll just stay home and wag the dog instead
A: But you do that every night. There's no hope for you. Why do I even bother?

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chin wag

shaking your head side to side, as if saying no

well dont give me a chin wag, i know you like it

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trolly-wags

Any form of pants (jeans, sweatpants, etc).

Oh dear, i have soiled my trolly-wags

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Tail wagging

When a man puts on a strap on dildo backwards like a tail, and fucks a girl with it.

Mikey brought puppy chow to the tail wagging party.

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the tail wagging the dog

This means that the least important part of a situation has too much influence over the most important part.

Bob:Honey, let's buy new purple carpet to match the purple lamp shade.
Wife:This sounds like the tail wagging the dog.

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wag-o-meter

The waving back and forth of a dog's tail. The speed of the tail is used to measure how happy the dog is. The faster the tail is wagging, the happier the dog.

Look, that dog's wag-o-meter is moving really fast!