Random
Source Code
Random
Ejaculating into your hand after realizing you have no toilet paper.
"oh dear, no toilet paper......urgh, jazz hands it is then"
125👍 305👎
A manicure.
I went into the spa and asked for a hand job. They sat me down at a table and the technician across from me buffed my nails, trimmed my cuticles, and massaged lotion into my hands. It was a relaxing experience and I left satisfied.
39👍 86👎
When a persons hands shake uncontrolably from alcohol withdrawl.
Man, Just thinking about an ice cold beer right now is giving me a mean case of Jazz Hands!
65👍 152👎
the uncontrolable desire of masturbating with a glazed porkroast
Watch out sir, he's got the ham-hands today...
27👍 57👎
Someone who is left handed is the devil's child. If you know anyone who is left handed, call the police to perform a ritual on them.
*At the basketball gym*
Some random guy: yo why are you so good with your left hand?
Me: Oh I'm left handed.
Them: NO GET AWAY
27👍 46👎
There are 3 types of hand soap. One type is the foaming kind which is softer and more fun for kids to play with while washing their hands.
Another type of soap is liquid soap. It has about the same consistency as shampoo. It's an average soap and easiest to use.
The final type of soap is bar soap. To use it, put water on your hands, then rub the soap on your hands. These soap bars are slippery so be careful.
Joe: "This bar soap is so slippery! I hope I don't drop it."
*Drops it*
"Wait. Is the hand soap dirty or is the floor clean? I can still use this soap then."
3👍 4👎
the delicate art of stuffing ones thumbs in a ladys arse, and spreading the fingers out in a joyfull circular bliss around her buttocks, whilst in the act of doggy style.....
Nick: Is lisa allright? She seems to be walking a bit funny today......
Joe: she got jazz handed last night
Nick: MOMMY BOYYYY!!!!
3👍 3👎