chocolate covered turtle

A female breast, covered in chocolate

I was having sex with Jenna, and I licked her chocolate covered turtle

Turtle poaching

When you punch someone who has a small penis in the dick making there head shrivel like a turtle.

Payton: i got turtle poached by some guy yesterday
thomas: omg is yo dick okay i hate turtle poaching

Laundry turtle

Noun. When you fill a laundry basket way over the top, then drape a towel over the pile and tuck it into the sides of the basket so nothing will fall out while carrying. The result resembles a turtle shell, and sometimes it will have little 'legs' of laundry items sticking out of holes in the basket.

I waited too long to do laundry, now im definitely gonna have to make a laundry turtle

Snapping turtle

Sex position, involves having sex with only the protruding head of a turtle (usually of the snapping variety). Bonus points if the shell vibrates.

Abby: Dude why are you bleeding like that

Kate: I tried the snapping turtle at the lake and it didn’t go well

Snapping Turtle

A clamp or clip tightened around the testicles.

Mike: No way! John has a Snapping Turtle!
John: What the fuck is that?

turtle choker

A plastic straw

Her: Ugh... you're using a turtle choker?!
Me: Yeah, thot

Sigma Turtling

When you bring yourself to the edge of a climax while simultaneously holding in a poop then release the load and turd at the same time and reach a Nirvana-like state of being

"Hey bro, last night I was totally Sigma Turtling to Oprah Winfrey!"
"Sweet bro!"