Llama Turtle

Someone very sociable but needs companionship.

Gentle, shy and very curious. There calm and have common sense, which makes them easy for everyone.

Someone that takes a really long time to catch on. Slow at learning.

Your a Llama turtle.

Turtle Shelled

Usually will happen when it's cold out and your balls shrivel up nice and tight to get warm. (The wrinkles look like the pattern that a turtle shell could have)

I gotta go inside now, its cold, I'm turtle shelled.

big headed turtle

Much like the big headed turtle, this term describes a big headed and small minded member of an older generation that is going extinct. The big headed turtle is a member of an older generation that has no interest in updating their knowledge of the world, only reads biased articles, belittles issues of millennials that he/she has never faced or researched, ferociously holds the baton on Facebook for insensitive propaganda, instigates and incites arguments for joy, does not know how to check sources for accuracy, and denies being racist/homophobic/sexist while supporting racist/homophobic/sexist ideals. Enjoys, coincidentally, calling others bigots while in fact being a bigot.

This big headed turtle posted a picture of millennials crying, affected by the deaths in the Florida shooting, stating that millennials only problems are "getting offended and protesting ridiculous causes."

Thank goodness big headed turtles are going extinct. One told me he isn't racist, but will not hire African Americans because of "how they get."

My big headed boss turtle inappropriately grabbed me at a company party, then told me, "Men don't get assaulted, they get complimented or fired."

Turtle-Baiter

The act of masturbating whilst your busting for a shit so bad it's "Turtle Necking" out of your asshole

"Mate, Gary said he had a Turtle-Baiter in bed last night and he got some on the sheets"

Cringe turtle

When you hear something so cringe that your heat retracts into your chest like a turtle

Someone: Hey I just took part in my schools talent show, I sang Riptide on my ukulele.

You, probably: Damn, thats so cringe my shoulders touch my ears like a cringe turtle

punch the turtle

To attempt something that does have a small chance of success - but will likely end in failure and pain.

Did you hear how Josh and Christel are trying to create new slang? They're trying to punch the turtle with that...

Turtle Poking

A term used when you have a little shit poking out of your bum.

I gotta run to the toilet, I’m turtle poking right now