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Usually said by drunks.
They think they're actually saying:
"I swear to god I'm not drunk."
Unforunately, they aren't.
Guy : I swear to drunk I'm not god!
Police officer: Okay sir, get out of the car.
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1. Phrase used to express shock at something very unlikely.
Bob : "The U.S. have just declared defeat in the middle east..."
John : "Fuck me drunk in the middle of a snowstorm!"
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Well...
Mommy’s-drunk-but-she’s-holding-it-together. (Does anyone have a cheeseburger?)
Mommy’s-drunk-but-she’s-holding-it-together.
It’s summer of 2001; Joe meets Patrick and he’s like “Yo, I know about music.”
And Patrick’s like “Yo, I know more about music.”
"That’s impossible! Do you wanna start a band?”
And Patrick’s like, “…Yeah… That’s cool.”
And then he’s like “Yo, this is a book store, it's not a music store!”
And then they met at Patrick’s house. And Patrick’s wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playin’ drums for some fuckin’ reason! And Pete’s there for some reason! They start playin’ music together. And they're like “Oh, let’s play some fuckin’ covers from some other bands!” It was like, Green Day and fuckin’ Misfits and fuckin’ Ramones!
Pete said to Joe, “Yo, we gotta change this shit up! Yo, we’ve played all these bands; let’s play shit from Fall Out Boy.”
And so Pete and Patrick are like “Yo, that’s dope. But we need a fuckin’ drummer!” Because Patrick’s playin’ drums and he’s a singer!
Patrick's like “Yo! I got a soul voice!”
And they're like “Wait, how do you have a soul voice?”
And he’s like “Yo, watch this: Yeah!”
And they’re like “Oh my god! That sounds like soul!” So they put it in the song and it was like “WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT!”
l: Yo have you seen A Drunk History Of Fall Out Boy?
a: ooh yeah. It's so funnyyy
To fix a smart phone, computer or television by randomly or semi-randomly pushing buttons and tapping icons until it begins working correctly again.
"OMG! How did you get my phone to start working right again?" "I just started punching buttons like a drunk monkey."
A common Southern expression to describe somebody who is Extremely Drunk.
Yeah, you should've seen Larry last night. Buddy, I want you to know, he was redneck lovin' commode huggin' drunk! He threw-up in the bathroom when we finally got him home.
When you have been day drinking all day and pass out in the afternoon, but then by early evening you want to go out again with your friends. Then you need a DDD to get you there. The DDD is like a pre-DD.
Zack: I can drive tonight! I'm not really gonna drink much. I got to day drink!
Mary Ann: No Zack... You've been day drinking all day. I'm not gonna drink tonight either. Let me be the DDD (Day Drunk Driver) tonight and I'll drive your day drunk ass around.
Zack: OK cool! I would 100% get a DUI right now even though I haven't drank since 2 this afternoon. For real!
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