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Random
When you make a comment about a celebrity that's generally unfavorable and some random person you don't know claims that you're jealous of said celebrity and claims that you're broke and you're just upset because you don't have their fame or specific networth. Hence, at the same time, the person defending the celebrity is most likely not any wealthier than you and is eager to surf on the celebrity's dick even though they don't know he/she exist.
Person 1: This nigga young thug sounds like he raps with aspergers and gurgles with mud, why do people like this nigga?
Person 2: shut up you broke ass nigga you just mad that you live a sphagetti o's can and young thug got a mountain for a house nigga hahaha stay broke nigga #richgang
Person 1: Ahh another Internet secretary, tell me, what does his dick look like in the morning?
A person who only appears on the internet very rarely much to the chagrin of their friends who wish they were around more to absorb their awesomeness.
Dang it, his posts are awesome but theres like one a year, he's such an internet phantom.
When waiting for a download, upload, etc. and the amount of time on the loading bar is different from the amount time it actually takes to download.
Similar to microwave minutes.
Dexter: "Oh my gosh Jocelyn, I was trying to download 'X-Men First Class' and the loading bar said two minutes, when it actually took fifteen!!"
Jocelyn: "Oh man, I know, internet minutes always fool me."
The thing that people say when a fellow person on the internet is just trying to live their lives.
Girl: Why is everyone so mean to me? I didnt join social media for this!
Me: Thats just the internet, better get used to it
A girl that posts her self non stop , always on social media keeping up with celebrities, Probably has a snap score of A million with 300 unread messages
Chris : This girl Fine but she post way to much, should I still hit her up?
Bryce: nah bro she a Internet bitch you gone bet played .
Someone who was spanked or humiliated in an online debate (especially over politics or religion) and who now follows the person that embarrassed them from thread to thread, posting about them, instead of the topic of the threads. When a person has an IB the polite thing to do is "Name" them after a breed of dog.
Bob: You destroyed Simms123 in that debate yesterday!
John: Yeah, now he's my internet bitch. He's posted about me in four different threads today.
Bob: What are you gonna name him?
John: Well he's an angry little bitch that's all bark and no muscle. So I went with Chihuahua.
Bob: Good choice. It suits him.
When you can’t find the answer online and have to look it up in a book
Bella went zero g internet when her web search’s failed to provide her answers; she headed for the book store.