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An urban legend who can shift through realities with a snap of his fingers. He is both alive and a ghost so nobody notices him and he is an arsonist. If you see him hide your kids and your wife.
Joseph: Hey look out i think i saw metal mike, GET INSIDE NOW!!!
millie. millie holmes. she is the metal girlboss bimbo.
person one: dude have you seen millie!?
person two: you mean metal girlboss bimbo??!?!? she’s so pretty!!
Progressive metal is a generally needlessly complicated and unstructured form of music that often makes minimal sense to the majority of metal fans because it can only be appreciated by people with an IQ over 600.
Progressive metal fans often believe they are superior to any fan of any other genre and will generally reject any piece music that isn't at least 20 minutes long with 40 key changes per minute.
Music in 4/4 is like kryptonite to a progressive metal fan and they must be administered dream theatre riffs as an antidote
An easy way to spot a progressive metal fan is to look for the guy who is pissed off at Opeth for dropping the growls yet goes to their shows anyway and yells for them to play Black Rose Immortal. He will also let everyone know that he's mostly there for the support band, who he has known about for ages.
In short, the math nerd of metal
*At an Opeth show*
Friend: Who's that guy *Points at a guy middle aged guy with long hair, glasses and a dream theatre shirt on stood in the middle of the pit looking like a moody teenager*
Me: Oh that's a progressive metal guy, he actually hates this band because their music is too simple
Friend: So why's he here if he hates them?
Me: Oh it's happening, look at him now
Prog metal guy: I HATE YOU GUYS WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO THE WAY YOU WERE YOU BETTER PLAY BLACK ROSE IMMORTAL RIGHT NOW OR I'M OUT OF HERE.
Friend: Wow
Two genital piercings rubbing together during hardcore sex
I’m going metal on metal tonight
A guy who's voice has reached puberty before his body. He is Prune to violence and takes his gaming very seriously
Geez you got bad temper. You are a metal oak
Definition:
A metal music sub-genre combing elements of shock rock, doom metal, black metal, and dark-folk music.
Key Characteristics:
- Dark & chromatic melodies.
- Odd & uncommon time signatures.
- Clean & gritty vocal styles.
- Folk instrumentation.
- Distorted electric and acoustic guitars.
- Keyboard and synth FX.
- Lyrical storytelling.
- Lyrical themes of folk horror, supernatural, etc.
“Have you ever heard of ‘Melodic Horror Metal’?” “No, I haven’t” “It’s this new metal sub-genre. I think you’ll dig it!”