TDGH (too drunk to get hard)

when a male is so inebriated that his genitalia is not usable in a sexual act.

Girl: get your close off hunk.
Guy: ok
Girl: ...
Guy: what.?
Girl: omg you are TDGH (too drunk to get hard).

5👍 2👎

I’m one drunk mother fucker

You see what happen when I iz drunk ??? You see whst happen

I’m one drunk mother fucker fuvk yeah

being drunk at dinner with your grandparents

An excellent decision. Are you bored with the usual mumbo-jumbo your grandparents talk about? Bring alcohol into the picture! It will spice up any conversation, and your grandparents will either think you're a degenerate, or a comedy god.

"(Being drunk at dinner with your grandparents) is the best thing I've ever done!

angy little sussy drunk man

They're the type of person to fuck your dog, kill your family, sacrifise your mum to the devils, terrorize an orphanage and fuck your dog again.

They're also a gay asf 13yo moderator on KyndraHq's server.

"I fucked 30 dogs yesterday!"

"Omg you're souch a silly angy little sussy drunk man uwu!"

Mothers against Drunk Driving (MADD)

a group of mothers that don't want teenagers to use drugs and alcohol with scary as hell PSAs as well as a charity

man, canada's freaking insane with Mothers against Drunk Driving (MADD) and their crazy PSAs

2👍 2👎

New York School Bus Driver Drunk

being legally drunk / intoxicated to the point where you think its ok to drive little kids around and argue with them all.

Nick: "Hey broski, what did you do last night?"
Matt: "Oh man, I got New York School Bus Driver Drunk last night"
Nick: "sounds like a fun time"
Matt: "oh it was, i tried to tell those little bastards to sit down and shut up but instead they deliberately disobeyed me. All the slurred speech in the world couldn't control them."
Matt: "Also I signed my daughter up for boarding school"

I'll have you know that I was drunk

Excuse for the most embarrasing acts one can do. Often ends with: at the time of the fight, mooning, streaking, gay orgy, party, chumba wumba dance, felching, belching, farting, public Defecation, vomiting, monkey licking, pole humping, and the list goes on and on. Sometimes said as: I'll have you know that me and: the monkey, sasquatch, your girlfriend, or monkey sasquatch girlfriend, were both drunk at the time. If you're a recovering alcoholic, don't use it after you beat the crap out of a liquor store owner.

I'll have you know that I was drunk at the time of the floor buffer incident.

57👍 9👎