thirsty turtle

(n.) term used to describe chinless, humanoid species found in Northern Louisiana. usually female, these creatures resemble a turtle who lost her shell. Despite her FAS features, she will be full of an ignorant, white trash pride and sense of superiority, which will make her feel entitled and desires among a group of male peers who would stick in a dead dog so long as it was still warm.

I can't believe Maria Elena Cimino is working here again but she is a thirsty turtle for those auto-sales managers.

turtle eggs

when 10 guys each put their nutsacks in one man's butthole and ejaculate at the same time

hesus: dammn those turtle eggs last night are what keep me from committing suicide.

nair turtle

After prarie dogging before you take a massive shit, the turd finally slides out of your rectum hole silky smooth.

Man after eating taco bell, i let me out a nair turtle.

Turtle Slides

When somebody takes a shit in a toilet and after they flush, streaks are left down the inside of the bowl that look similar to the streaks left in mud next to a pond that turtles slide into.

"Dude, what the hell did you eat? A whole pound of cheese?"
"What? Why?"
"You left some wicked bad turtle slides in the toilet."

Llama Turtle

Someone very sociable but needs companionship.

Gentle, shy and very curious. There calm and have common sense, which makes them easy for everyone.

Someone that takes a really long time to catch on. Slow at learning.

Your a Llama turtle.

Turtle Shelled

Usually will happen when it's cold out and your balls shrivel up nice and tight to get warm. (The wrinkles look like the pattern that a turtle shell could have)

I gotta go inside now, its cold, I'm turtle shelled.

big headed turtle

Much like the big headed turtle, this term describes a big headed and small minded member of an older generation that is going extinct. The big headed turtle is a member of an older generation that has no interest in updating their knowledge of the world, only reads biased articles, belittles issues of millennials that he/she has never faced or researched, ferociously holds the baton on Facebook for insensitive propaganda, instigates and incites arguments for joy, does not know how to check sources for accuracy, and denies being racist/homophobic/sexist while supporting racist/homophobic/sexist ideals. Enjoys, coincidentally, calling others bigots while in fact being a bigot.

This big headed turtle posted a picture of millennials crying, affected by the deaths in the Florida shooting, stating that millennials only problems are "getting offended and protesting ridiculous causes."

Thank goodness big headed turtles are going extinct. One told me he isn't racist, but will not hire African Americans because of "how they get."

My big headed boss turtle inappropriately grabbed me at a company party, then told me, "Men don't get assaulted, they get complimented or fired."