In Space No-one Can Hear You Scream

Absolute vacuum of space prevents sound waves from travelling and vice-versa.

When the user of a blondes face for sexual purposes finds that the pleasure sensation is too great and wishes to cry out in a manner befitting a scream. Realising to late that In Space No-one Can Hear You Scream...

13👍 9👎

can-u-ere-the-v-tec

Pronounced in a only northern chav/scally accent.
A phrase used only by two types of people.
It can be screamed by F-16 pilots, instead of the customary "booyaa", while flying 2 meters above crowded pedestrian areas.
It is also screamed by Parson cross chavs, from the drivers window of red honda civic type-r as they speed past inferior cars(EG bugatti veyrons, saxos, corsas &/or hyundias).

Ppptttttccccccchhhhhh!!!!!!, can-u-ere-the-v-tec?

6👍 27👎

So you think you can rape?

A TV show in which convicted rapists are entered into a Big Brother style house. The ultimate goal of the show is to find the best rapist of those interred. They would have weekly competitions such as Most Violent Rapist, Quickest Rapist, Most Loving Rapist, highest amount of 'I'm sorry's' post coitus etc. the winner would be the publics most favoured Rapist. The prize being facial reconstruction and a new identity.

Matty J: Hey Deano, who's your favourite on this awesome show 'So you think you can Rape?'

Deano: Well I was gunning for Fritzl but the new guy Castro has swung it for me!

Matty J: Gaylord!

7👍 4👎

I can neither confirm nor deny

It is a hint to the answer of a question, it works best if you know the person well enough that they can figure out the answer on their own. Emotions & expressions can also hint towards the answer.
Also used if you actually don't know or are trying to cover your company's ass.

"Hey Bob, have you ever seen Iron Man 1 before?"
"I can neither confirm nor deny that"

"Hey Jill, do you have my pencil?"
"I can neither confirm nor deny that"

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The worst thing you can call someone

If target is male: baby dick
If target is female: (there are far too many insults that can send any member of the female gender into wild fenzy of violent rage)

You: Hey there, friend of bob, I mean "baby dick".
Me: YOU BASTARD!!!!! (walks away in shame)

Me: Hey there, (random female).
Female: (ignores and walks way, usually finding someone more attractive)

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The worst thing you can call someone

10.A Piece of Dirt
9. A Libertarian
8. A Republican
7. A Faggot/ A Dyke
6. A Waste of Human Tissue
5. A Nazi
4. A Frenchman
3. A Shit Stain
2. A Cunt
1. A DIEGO

Diego is the worse thing you can call someone. It'll make your target cry.

425👍 615👎

can i have my face back

A question to ask when someone rips your face off thinking that you're wearing a mask like on Scooby Doo.

Peter: A SKELETON!!!
Old Man Withers: Can I have my face back?
Peter: No! You're going to jail!

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