DNAmned if you do and DNAmned if you don't

In other words, it may not exactly be a "stroll on Easy Street" for you no matter what da result of da paternity-test shows --- a prime example would be dat even if said test does indeed prove dat you're not da love-baby's daddy, da test's in-da-thousands-of-dollars cost may be somewhat comparable to what you'd have hadda spend for child-support, anyway.

Good luck on getting a refund for da momentous cost of a paternity-test if said test proves dat indeed you are not da child's biological father (see "pap smear", definition #14); you might be better off to simply start making support-payments; it can definitely be a "DNAmned if you do and DNAmned if you don't" situation!

I don't like the cut of your Jib

An old expression showing a general dislike for somebody.

Dave: HUH?
Steve: I don't like the cut of your jib.

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I don't even know what that means

This phrase is tagged to the end of one's speech in order to reveal an innuendo or undertone. It is expressed with a wide-eyed expression and a tone of confusion. It is often synonymous with "That's what she said".

Unlike "That's what she said", it is proper for one to add this phrase to the end of his/her own speech, as well as for others to do the honor for him/her.

Scott: "This female's pelvis has been articulated... I don't even know what that means"

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I don't give two and a half shits

Combining a reference to two and a half men and the fact that you care so little about what the other person's saying.

-Hey, guess what I was doing last night?
-You know what? I don't give two and a half shits!

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Don't Make Fun of Langxion Day

April 20th is the day where you can respect and not insult Langxion, because langxion is fucking amazing :)

im hyped for don't make fun of langxion day, he's so cool!

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Don't get your twat in a knot.

It's like the expression, "don't get your panties in a bunch." Literal meaning is to not get worked up.

Just because I slept with your sister, don't get your twat in a knot.

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you don't have to tell me twice

Another way of saying, "I understand" or "I already know."

(patiently listens to a broken man's pitiful, self-depreciating speech)

My Response: "You don't have to tell me twice and I'm okay with it as long as you stay away from my sis. P.S., Jesus loves you and everyone else thinks you're an idiot."

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