one eyed, one legged pirate

When you are having sex with a girl doggy style, spit on her back, then when she turns around you blow your load in one eye, and kick her in the shin and let her hop around on one leg, holding her eye.

Person 1-"Oh man Sarah's angry at me."
Person 2-"Why's that?"
Person 1-"Ah i did a one eyed, one legged pirate to her, it was funny though, watching her hop around like that!"

9👍 2👎

Pull all the legs off a spider

When a male masturbates 8 times in a day.

Jamie: During my day off yesterday I was so bored and sexually frustrated I had to pull all the legs off a spider to keep me from molesting my dog.

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My balls are sticking to my legs

A phrase women don't understand, they simply give a face of repulse to this phrase.

On a hot and humid day a man's genitals will chemically fuse to his legs in a hot sweaty mesh. Of which time said man will state this line.

Tom Cruise: Why didn't you bang her last night, man? She totally wanted you!

George W. Bush: I know man, but I told her that my balls are sticking to my legs. No chance I would've gone through with that going on.

Tom Cruise: Yeah, true ... California summers.

George W. Bush: California summers ...

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how to kill your legs

to much weight on the legs

how to kill your legs is by lifting a real heavy box

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CLOSED LEGS DON'T GET FED

IF YOU DON'T HAVE SEX YOU DON'T MAKE MONEY, HENCE YOU CAN'T EAT.

WOMAN #1: "I DON'T MIND STRIPPING BUT HAVING SEX IS A WHOLE NOTHER THING."

WOMAN #2: "GIRL IN THIS BUSINESS, CLOSED LEGS DON'T GET FED."

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Dark Brown Barbie leg

a relatively large blunt, the size and color of a dark barbie leg.

"i just smoked a Dark Brown Barbie leg"

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three legged spot n' squat

A sex move where a woman (or man if thats what floats your boat)is in the process of doing squats at the gym and she realizes that she needs a spotter; thats where the man comes in. The man is sitting nude, fully erect on a three legged stool under the woman. Holding the womans ta ta's for support, the man gets ready to enter. When the woman comes down with her squat, the man penetrates, trying not to fall over on account of the three legged stool being wobbly.

The woman should have as little weight as possible when she is doing squats, to speed it up a little.

"Three legged" in this move has a double meaning if you catch my drift.

FREDRICO: "Dude! I three legged spot n' squated this chick at the gym last night!!"
STAVROS: "haHA, nice"

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