Turtle-Baiter

The act of masturbating whilst your busting for a shit so bad it's "Turtle Necking" out of your asshole

"Mate, Gary said he had a Turtle-Baiter in bed last night and he got some on the sheets"

Cringe turtle

When you hear something so cringe that your heat retracts into your chest like a turtle

Someone: Hey I just took part in my schools talent show, I sang Riptide on my ukulele.

You, probably: Damn, thats so cringe my shoulders touch my ears like a cringe turtle

punch the turtle

To attempt something that does have a small chance of success - but will likely end in failure and pain.

Did you hear how Josh and Christel are trying to create new slang? They're trying to punch the turtle with that...

thirsty turtle

(n.) term used to describe chinless, humanoid species found in Northern Louisiana. usually female, these creatures resemble a turtle who lost her shell. Despite her FAS features, she will be full of an ignorant, white trash pride and sense of superiority, which will make her feel entitled and desires among a group of male peers who would stick in a dead dog so long as it was still warm.

I can't believe Maria Elena Cimino is working here again but she is a thirsty turtle for those auto-sales managers.

turtle eggs

when 10 guys each put their nutsacks in one man's butthole and ejaculate at the same time

hesus: dammn those turtle eggs last night are what keep me from committing suicide.

Ass Turtle

Another word for retard.

"Man your such an ass turtle, you know that?"

Turtle Net

Beyond slow and very slow Internet Connection.

Sorry late reply, I'm using a turtle net.