The Mockingbird Clause

Grants anyone the ability to use the n-word as long as the person saying it was quoting a sentence which uses the n-word. Based on the book "To Kill a Mockingbird" in which the n-word would be quoted by any student reading the book to the class and not necessarily used in a hateful manner. This also applies to singing songs.

Student: Teacher! He said a bad word!

Teacher: He was just reading the book, why would I punish him? The Mockingbird Clause absolves him of any wrongdoing.

the winglis clause

A new version of ‘Godwin’s Law’ (the longer an internet argument/debate/discussion goes on the likelihood of a reference to Hitler increases) which we’ll call ‘The Winglis Clause’ that states that as soon as Trump is brought into an internet argument/debate/discussion the topic will immediately descend into a lengthy and verbally spiteful ‘left vs right’ debate leaving the original topic trampled underfoot like an unfit tourist in Pamplona trying their hand at ‘the running of the bulls’. It’s basically a more ‘en flique’ version of ‘Godwin’s Law’ with a few extras on it. In the spirit of Hollywood I have taken an existing, perfectly brilliant concept and repackaged it with some metaphorical CGI.

As soon as someone pulled the winglis clause out during a very interesting thread about the Ohio State Fair I knew it was time to log off before the Trumpeters showed up to argue how great the tiny handed Emperor is.

Skanky clause

The act of dressing up like Santa clause then proceeding to sneak in child’s room then proceeding to fit as many cookies in the innocent child’s rectum and then release a couple dozen micro ass-eating elves that transfers aids.Ms. Clause then proceeds to queef on the child’s face giving them a severe case of pink eye. Then Rudolph bites Santa’s crusted pubes and super glues them on the child’s lips giving them a pube-Stache. As Santa leaves he opens his asshole and grabs a shit and pulls it out and graffitis the entire home.

On Christmas Eve, I will pull a skanky clause at the daycare.

buyback clause

when you say to always keep a girl if you need her back

I told Jen ill always love her incase i wanna activate the buyback clause

Buy back clause

Buy back clause - when an individual adds an element to a break up message so that you can come back later

I told her I will always love her when we broke up ,you always have to have a buy back clause just in case .