jump the monkey

When a woman returns home after a long and boring day working in a restaurant with the sole aim of getting shagged silly. Her advances lack subtlety as she just grabs at the man´s genitals demanding coitus. When faced with any resistance she jumps on the unaccommodating male and rides him into oblivion.

Nicky: Hey Amanda, do you fancy a drink after work?
Amanda: Nah, I don´t think so.
Nicky: Why not? Are you off home to jump the monkey?
Amanda: Yeah, I am fucking gagging for it.
Nicky: Crikey!!

jump the gun

to do something prematurely

I think I jumped the gun on calling her "bitch." she won't talk to me anymore, I guess it was too early.

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jumping the couch

The defining moment when you know someone has gone off the deep end. Inspired by Tom Cruise's behaviour on Oprah

Inspired by Tom Cruise's behaviour on Oprah

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jumping the couch

a rare disease where one randomly decides they should kill oprah, join scientology, or suddenly marry katie holmes.

Tom Cruise is one of the poor souls who have been diagnosed with the Jumping the Couch disorder.

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Jump Up

A style of Drum and bass music. Punchy drums and heavy basslines.

Some Jump Up songs:
Taxman "Unreal"
Original Sin "D For Danger"
Jaydan "King Of Miami"
Dirty Harry "Fools"

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JUMP BONES

To describe the action of someone who wants to really, REALLY fuck your brains out.

Yeh, man. Jean was lookin extra busted today an I almost threw up when she gave me this look...like she wanna JUMP MAH BONES!

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jump the shark

The precise moment when you know a program, band, actor, politician, or other public figure has taken a turn for the worse, gone downhill, become irreversibly bad, is unredeemable, etc.; the moment you realize decay has set in.

Tom Cruise jumped the shark the moment he jumped Oprah's couch.

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