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Tales from the BEJRiPyTOMBUriED

Tales from the Benningfield junior Rest in peace yard tombstone of Lonnie Benningfield junior ⚰️🪦.by lbj as in Lonnie Benningfield junior LBJAY MARCH 10th 19eightynine.

Tales from the bejripytomburied tales from the HooooBJects RELBJALOODS RELBJALEEDING RELBJALEED DOUBJRAGGIN BY LBJ AS IN LONNIE BENNINGFIELD JUNIOR LBJAY MARCH 10TH 19EIGHTYNINE.

by LBJAY December 17, 2024


a ross thomas tale

A story that is usually very unbelievable. It may have some factual elements but not always necessary. The story is usually based on fiction rather then theory.

Don’t let the truth get in the way of a good story.

A Ross Thomas Tale started with ‘ypu need to see this, In Switzerland the leg of this giant chair was blown up by a huge bomb’...... true story is.... a giant chair with a broken leg and stands across the street from the Palace of Nations, in Geneva. It symbolises opposition to land mines and cluster bombs, and acts as a reminder to politicians and others visiting Geneva.

by Jay rae June 24, 2020


tales sexual

being sexual attracted to a tales from the valley character

Person 1: Dude I think I'm tales sexual, i want to have sex with Laun!
Person 2: Shut the fuck up spagettirat.

by ChosenRubric Fan November 5, 2021

3👍 1👎


Pescatuga Tales

The Pescatuga Tales are known by only a few in this world, two to be exact. These tales are the collection of dozens of child rapes, committed by two notorious figures known as the Tortuga, and the Pescado. The compilation of the tales are named after the rapists themselves, and the name inspires fear in the youth-filled communities which were attacked. These attacks began in 2019. So who were they? Well, Tortuga and Pescado both lived similar lifestyles, each brought up with a furious hatred of the school system, specifically the Spanish branch of education. They first met late in 2018 when a ghastly Spanish teacher partnered them together to solve a treacherous problem that consisted of Spanish. From then on, they became friends, and bonded over wonderful music. Flash-forward two months; they have now became good friends and in a sudden turn of events, play a game of Clash Royale together, a vicious card game which involves the annihilation of towers to succeed, much like a upscaled 9/11. They fought together, and found that they were the perfect team; they demolished all opponents before them and lay waste to countless towers. Unconfirmed sources say that Pescado first said 'we raped those children' upon winning, in a nonchalant manner. But soon, they found that they both had a love for rape, especially child rape. After countless rapes of minors, they went on to bigger game, for the children on Clash Royale could not be raped to satisfaction. They moved on to Roblox.

Again, a violent game which too is populated by children. Pescado and Tortuga found their first victim on this game, and so the first chapter of the Pescatuga Tales truly begins.

Their first victim, an 8 year old by the name of Katie, was fishing in a pool, when Pescado and Tortuga first approached her. They engaged in small talk, and then in a flash, jumped upon Katie, viciously resizing her squirming body as she screamed for help. Katie was never seen again. After Katie, they moved on to other targets, which are explored in details in the other chapters of the Pescatuga Tales. In one instance, they raped the entire elementary graduation class of 2019, and those students had been resized so badly they could not urinate or excrete ever again for all life. It is very clear that the Tortuga is a much more fearsome warrior than the Pescado, and is without a doubt, a much better person in every aspect. Every aspect. The Duo themselves have found themselves to be much closer friends and have bonded terrifically over the committing of these rapes.

P.S: Pescado hopes that the Tortuga and he could rape children in Roblox this weekend.

Pescatuga Tales:

School Announcements: Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. However, before we go on, please give a minute of silence in remembrance of the Pescatuga child rape sprees of 2019.

Students: *Absolute silence aside from tears dropping and sniffles as they remember the rape experience. Several students break down, sobbing.*

by pescado_tortuga March 21, 2019


tall tales

Tall tales are manlet cope, also known as short stories and leprechaun lies. Invariably expressed to you from far below by little voices, goin' peep, peep, peep, tellin' great big lies in their hissy fit manletspeak while wearing platform shoes on their nasty, little feet - just lol at tall tales telling short people 'round here. The content of tall tales often includes but is not limited to: manlet mathematics and guy height relating to the microscopic manlet's ludicrously ladylike and dwarfishly diminutive height, small man syndrome manlet rage-induced halfling half-truths about how the silly manlet boy could totally fight against a towering manmore and how the minuscule midget manlet definitely wouldn't immediately pass out and girlishly pee his pipsqueak, pint-sized, peewee pants, as well as massively delusional manlet cope about how the subhumanly stunted Oompa Loompa Ewok manlet is actually a happy hobbit because clothes cost less in the children's section and that he can convincingly cross-dress and pass as a women whenever the petite and effeminate sissy manlet desires to do so in order to turn tricks to afford his daily fix of step stools and booster seats (especially since he has a closet full of high heels at home anyway). Short people got no reason. Manlets rise up!

Allison: Manlet detected. Isn't that the tall tales telling turbo-manlet Tiny Todd "Toxic Homunculus" Howard over there? Maria: Damn, I forgot my magnifying glass! Let's have a closer look. Allison: Oh, it's just a particularly petite garden gnome! Maria: Manlets rise up!

by ManletDepreciator October 1, 2024


Veggie Tale

A special E.D. crippled orphan

Tyler- “Yo bro why you gotta be such a Veggie Tale bro”
Jayden-A what?”

by Tim’s Internal Testical (TIT) December 17, 2021


Todd Howard's tall tales

Next to having little hands and little eyes, Tiny Todd "Tippy Toes" Howard is known for walking around in high heels and tellin' great big lies. His long-suffering wifelet says that he's got a little schmeckle and tiny little teeth. He wears platform shoes on his nasty little feet. When detected in public it's evident that he's got little baby legs and that he stands so low, even a child would have to pick him up just to say hello! He should get in his little car and just go beep, beep, beep because nobody cares about his deceptive manletspeak. We don't want no more tall tales around here.

Manmore 1: Oh great, Bethesda is releasing another overpriced shovelware role-playing game soon. Little Napoleon Howard promised to finally add a height slider to the character creation menu this time. Manmore 2: That's just another one of Todd Howard's tall tales! That dwarfishly stunted, petite and effeminate microscopic runt of a homunculus Ewok sissy manlet boy is way too insecure about his laughably girlish height to ever permit such a thing. Manmore 1: What a meddling manlet he is! Short people got no reason. Manmore 2: Hahahahaha!

by ManletDepreciator September 13, 2024