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Close friend or someone who you rate like batman.
Rollsafe My Bruce!
In a bit My Bruce!
Alias that is used by criminals who call large corporations claiming to test the phones and requests to be transferred to long extensions, when in reality he is making fraudulent calls to the middle east. This criminal will call several times and does not seem to be very intelligent.
Chuck - Good Evening, this is Chuck Bruce with technical. We are testing the high and low frequencies on the lines this evening, have you been having any problems with your phone?
Jon Doe - Nope.
Chuck - Alright, I need you to transfer me to this extension. Do you have a pen and paper? The extension is long so you should write it down.
Jon Doe - Sure
Chuck - Alright, the number is 011 *** *** ****
Jon Doe - That's an international number and its for the middle east! Are you a terrorist?
Chuck - (sound of phone being abruptly hung up)
20👍 3👎
To ejaculate messily in one's pants and not change after.
"Honey, if you keep dancing against me like that, I'ma have a wet bruce."
38👍 8👎
The best martial artist in the history of all movies.
You think Chuck Norris is good??... Shit... Bruce Lee kicked his ass.. literally
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Hard nipples. or nips.
"I love the winter when all you see are Bruce Lees on chicks."
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Bruce willis was born on the moon before the dawn of time. He was the love child between chuck norris and a ninja. Over his life he has accomplished many tasks including going back in time to stop a time paradox from occuring, forming Pantera, and his acting career which he is most famous for. In his acting career he is most noted in the autobiography Die Hard. However they had to change his name from Bruce Willis to John Mclaine because if people knew that Bruce Willis actually pulled that shit off, their eyes would explode and they would piss out their liquified innards for months. Other real-life biographies include, Rambo 4, the Evil Dead series, every george romero movie that DOESN'T suck, and the star wars series as Darth Vader, except instead of being either a whiney kid or an emo teenager, he was actually a viking, and instead of Obi Wan kicking his ass, Bruce takes his lightsaber and gouges out both of his eyes, and force feeds them down his throat. Due to this change, instead of episodes IV, V, and VI being nothing but him chopping off baby heads and eating everyne like it was supposed to, it turned out to be a long, complex trilogy which still kicked ass but still should have been bruce willis eating people. However, George Lucas was in charge and he decided to go with his idea. Bruce Willis got pissed and kicked his ass so hard after episodes 1 2 and 3 came out that he sent him back in time 30 years and was forced to write episodes 4 5 and 6 back then instead.
It is common knowledge that every time Bruce Willis says "Yippee-kai-yay mother fucker," and emo gets sodomized with a jack hammer.
There are rumors that Bruce Willis created a sucky jazz album. However these accusations are false. He actually released the first version of Reign In Blood by Slayer, but it was decided that the album was so hardcore that people would die in gruesome ways upon hearing Bruce's kickass guitar playing, and thus hired the slayer we see today as the composers of the album. The sucky jazz album was actually just Kenny G trying to fuck up Bruce's career. Bruce is planning his immense ass-kicking as we speak.
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The man who completely PWNED Chuck Norris.
"Did you see the way Bruce Lee completely PWNED Chuck Norris last night?"
"Yeah, Bruce was KING!"
155👍 48👎