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Typically a late night snack undertaken just because you can and to no one is around to stop you. Alternatively it may refer to your partner refusing a Buttered Crumpet.
Just got warm in bed when I needed to wee so went to make a hot water bottle because I was freezing and now made Protest Crumpets because I needed them for the affront of standing in the cold kitchen.
A man who avoids women; typically because he is a homosexual.
"Hey Jamie, you massive crumpet dodger"
When you cum while pooping at the same time and the cum is spread on the poop before it hits the water. The penis may also be used as a buttering knife.
Yo' Derek what are you going to do later?
Probably just go home, drink a few beers, and try to butter the crumpets again.
What? Yo, buttering the crumpets is easier when you don't drink.
Masturbating underwater. Usually referring to underwater female-masturbation, but not exclusive to females.
Jane spent so long krinkling her crumpet in the bath her cunt was pruney.
Don't krinkle your crumpets in the bath! I have to take showers in that tub!!!
Larger than standard dry poo chunks that stick to your anus hairs when you do not wipe properly
My arse is full of bum crumpets because the toilet paper was like tracing paper and i was too scared to wipe properly
Originates from the band name Psychedelic Porn Crumpets. There are two likely definitions:
(a) Describes a pornographic or sexy crumpet; a crumpet that looks very appetizing
(b) A porn star. Crumpet referring to a sexy person (usually a woman)
(a) Hey Jerry can you pass me that porn crumpet?
(b) Mate, is that the porn crumpet from "Revenge of the Tentacles 3"?