ass-wipe

1. toilet paper

2. a worthless or annoying person

I can't believe were out of ass-wipe.

20👍 6👎

Security Wipe

When you swab your ass after an extremely satisfying, hard, clean shit, and the paper comes up clean. AKA one wiper.

Credit to DB in MO.

Man, that was an awesome shit! I only needed a security wipe!

15👍 4👎

wipe it down

To be used when things go extremely well with someone or something, for example, with someone of romantic interest. To wipe him or her down is a very good time indeed.

Stephen: So Travis, are you excited for your hot date?
Travis: Heck yes I am. I'm feeling pretty dang good, I'm totally going to wipe it down.
Stephen: (with an approving nod) That Travis, he's so hot right now.

23👍 8👎

safety wipe

when you wipe your ass even though you haven't taken a shit recently--just to make sure it's all clean and good down there. A safety wipe is also the cleanest, most effective way to scratch your anus.

When Amy invited Bob back to her place, he did a safety wipe in her bathroom, in case she ended up going down on him.

8👍 1👎

luxury wipe

The wiping of ones arse with one or several baby wipes after defecation. The soft baby wipes are gentle on the sfinkter and have the added bonus of a washing effect, making the user feel fresher than with regular paper. The sensation of luxury feels even more prevalent when the user has diarrhea with a very sore sfinkter or feces that is particular sticky making cleaning with regular paper particularly time consuming. If the user cannot access baby wipes one can improvise by spitting on regular paper. Face wipes used to remove make up will also do nicely.

The other day when I visited Tom and Claire they had prepared curry vindaloo for supper. The stuff went right through me though and within minutes on the toilet gave me a burning ring of fire. The pain was so bad it made my eyes water. Thank fuck they had baby wipes laying on the shelf so at least I could have a luxury wipe.

7👍 1👎

Wipe Day

The one day of the week where players of the popular online survival game "Rust" are allowed to wipe their rectums. During the week they may not leave their rooms and must defecate at their station often utilizing what is known as a "poop sock".

Hey man you wanna come over?

Sorry I can't its 'wipe day'

17👍 5👎

Wig wipe

The act of ejaculating on someone's face and proceeding to grab the person's hair to wipe your penis clean of cum.

I totally blew a load on Michelle's face and gave her a wig wipe! That wig is more crusty than leftover French bread!

31👍 11👎