Swedish Blowtorch

A sexual act where a girl gives a man a blowjob and accidentally takes too much of the man's penis, resulting in a violent and forceful upchucking, usually of undigested semen from other men she recently had.

Mike: "Dude I was with this whore and she totally gave me a Swedish Blowtorch it was amazing!"

Johnny: "I am seriously reconsidering our friendship..."

Mike: "Naw man it's alright she only had a couple STD's!"

21👍 11👎

Swedish Shower

When someone takes a shower before extensive physical activity, really defeating the whole purpose of showering and wasting water and time in the process.

"Rik decided to take a Swedish Shower before snowboarding all day today"

18👍 9👎

Swedish Friday

An act of fellatio performed in a violent fashion between two men, typically one man holding the other man's head, forcing it back and forth.

"Do you like your blowjobs violent Kalle?"

"Oh yeah, nothing better than a swedish friday with my man Ulle".

11👍 5👎

Swedish Niggers

A now extinct race once ruled by Simon Phoenix the Great

God smitted Swedish Niggers as punishment for one of them fucking his shit up and eating forbidden watermelon from the sacred bush.

A playground limerick:

There was a nigger called Leröy from Sweden
Who danced naked in the Garden of Eden
So God piledrived him on a rock
then ripped off his black cock
So he died 'cos it wouldn't stop bleedin'

33👍 22👎

Swedish Omelette

Cracking an egg into an asshole or vagina, then fucking it until it's scrambled, thus making an omelette.

Alex: Gab, wake up!
Gab: Why?
Alex: I want a Swedish Omelette for breakfast!

13👍 6👎

Swedish Beef

Extreme shred guitar and fret wankeray, or just any prime example of talent to come out of sweden.

"Man did you see that Yngwie Malmsteen, thats some mighty fine swedish beef!"

"Ibrahimovic is the swedish beef on Pro Evo. 5!"

6👍 2👎

Swedish Microwave

Continually releasing queefs under the covers several times and building up stench while your significant other is brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed, then when they get into bed, pull the covers over their head and yell "SWEDISH MICROWAVE" and let them enjoy the stench of your queef gas for at least 30 seconds. Similar to the 'Dutch Oven'

Emma: Kerri, how was your sleepover at Anna's last night?
Kerri: NOT GOOD! That damn Alyssa chick kept pulling Swedish Microwaves all night!

Emma: Whoa, that's some serious queefage!

6👍 2👎