Piccolo Trumpet

The worlds most awesome instrument, only instrument better than the trumpet. You can't get higher than a piccolo trumpet, this beast of an instrument makes flutes jealous. This instrument is the loudest instrument which shows the Dominance that all trumpet players have! Whenever we get dissed, we get it you're hella jealous of our bossness.

Hey, why can't you come into work today?
I have to show the ladies how cool I am in band.
Oh really? What instrument do you play?
Piccolo Trumpet.
Oh shit dude, I didn't know you were a literal god.

Shiny Trumpet

The act of shoving an entire bar of soap up ones rectum.

I just gave myself the greatest Shiny Trumpet in the shower this morning.

Donald Trumpet

When your trumpet grows a toupee and starts blasting out loud and obnoxious voices saying,"China,make America great again,I love the Mexicans!"

"Wow when did your trumpet grow a toupee?"

"It grew it when it voted for Tump!"

-Donald trumpet

188👍 64👎

cum trumpet

the penis, cock, hog, wang, etc

i paid this chick 37 cents to play my cum trumpet.

47👍 13👎

Pocket Trumpet

Oral sex performed on a man with his pants still on and buttoned with the penis pulled through the zippered opening.

Baby we don't have time for a quickie but maybe a pocket trumpet?

13👍 2👎

Gideon's Trumpet

A euphemism for the male sexual organ. Derived from the 1974 movie "2069: A Sex Odyssey", which is the first result on the internet movie database IMDB.com when a search is performed for "Gideon's Trumpet". As a euphemism, this phrase has no connection to the book of the same name by Anthony Lewis or the movie based on the book.

She enthusiastically blew Gideon's Trumpet.

9👍 1👎

water trumpet

The act of emitting intestinal methane gas, i.e., a fart, while underwater, especially in the bathtub, causing the gas to bubble up through the water only to emerge with increased sound and odor as it hits the air. Playing the water trumpet takes on added enjoyment when one positions one's anus so that the emitted gas tickles up one's backside as it rises up through the water.

Phil enjoys playing his water trumpet while taking a bath with his wife, Sheila, causing her to bolt up and out of the tub, screaming, "PHIL! Stop farting in the bathtub!! It stinks!"

9👍 1👎