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Hydrogen fuel cell using Hydrogen made from methane produced from decomposing turds
If turd fuel cells could power the shipping industry, there would be fewer turds & less fossil fuel being burnt
When you almost have to shit and you have gas. The air passing over your turd spreading the shitty smell as you fart.
Commonly referenced to when walking past a row or porta-johns at a concert in the middle of summer.
What the F#ck is that smell? Did you shit your pants?!?!! -No...I just had to "Air-off the turd".
When you take a shit so spicy and hot that it leaves your ass stinging
Donny: Bro why is there steam coming out of your ass?
Stew: Dude, I just dropped a duece so fierce I think I got a Turd Degree Burn
A gooey and almost paste like substance occurring primarily in the undergarments of men, ranging from nearly clear to khaki in color. Generally smooth and creamy, much like your favorite peanut butter and the result of one’s last meal choices. Sort of a shit lube, if you will. Also, the primary cause of Monkey Butt and skid marks, when left unattended.
Ralph had enjoyed a dinner of knackwürst and sauerkraut Thursday evening. The following morning, having only just arrived at the office, he began regretting his menu selections.
He dropped his keys in the hallway and bent over to grab them. The movement must have helped things along, as the result was a loud, trumpeting, fart that echoed through the hallway. Instantly, he knew something was amiss. His shorts were no longer dry, but they weren’t exactly wet either. The consistency of the fart residue was slightly sticky yet had a rather creamy feeling to it.
Upon inspection, he realized his shorts were clean, but his cheerio needed a good wiping and perhaps a final scraping with a rubber spatula. Yes... Ralph had just unwittingly produced a large batch of Turd Cutter Butter... enough to spread over 2-3 slices of toast.
The day after Green Beer Day, when green causes show their inevitably green consequences.
- So I took a dump this morning, and it was GREEN.
- Yup, that's Green Turd Day alright.
When you stand out in a formal setting, being as you are not dressed formally.
"Dude, I went to the Met Gala and I totally stood out like a turd in a punch bowl!"
The apparent difference in the rate of time perceived by someone taking a dump compared to the rest of the world. (For every minute you think you've been sitting on the toilet, 80-100 seconds have actually gone by.) The Turd Law rarely holds up to empirical measurement, and is therefore considered by the scientific community to be a big load of crap.
Boss: "If you weren't in there droppin' a deuce for so long you might be done your work by now."
Me: "I was in there for five minutes. Six tops."
Boss: "More like 15 or 20…"
Me: "Well I'll be damned. I just proved the Turd Law of Relativity."