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beef witted apple john

One who amongst your circle of friends is commonly known as a lesser person, often humorously scorned in passing, yet not worthy of lengthy thought.

"Oh look everyone it's Alex Trebek. Hey Alex, ya beef witted apple john! What's the difference between you and a bird with a cold? One's a sick duck...anyways I don't remember how it ends but your mother's a whore."

by Tony John C September 26, 2007

30๐Ÿ‘ 13๐Ÿ‘Ž


St. Augustine Apple Toss

When drunk as fuck at a local hotel pool, one is tired of the apple he has halfway eaten. He then decides to toss the half eaten apple in the pool.

After tossing the apple, the apple culprit walks through a puddle of piss on his way to the bathroom.

The next morning at breakfast, the apple is still floating in the same spot as the night before.

Maxwell: Yo man, after your done with that apple I want a bite.

John: Aight man... SPLASH!!! Oops, I just did the St. Augustine apple toss.

Maxwell: What the fuck did you do that for man? I wanted some of that apple.

by Grinnell March 31, 2008

20๐Ÿ‘ 9๐Ÿ‘Ž


Toothless horse eating an apple

The maximum level of power when performing cunnilingus. What it lacks in technique, it makes up for in lifting women off their feet like a seal balancing a ball on its nose.

Last night, I got high on bath salts and went down on my gf like a toothless horse eating an apple.

by Eleven Tails December 20, 2019

5๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


one bite short of an apple

The term used to describe an individual or group of individuals who display a certain degree of insanity by making up excuses that are implausible to the extreme in a feeble attempt to deny responsibility for their mistakes.

Boss: "What time do you call this, your 6 hours late."

Employee: "I'm really sorry I'm late sir I was err.. abducted by aliens, on my way way in. They returned me to earth in the middle of a field and the nearest train station was twenty miles away. I definitely didn't spend last night clubbing and get up 6 hours late."

Boss: "Who do you think you are kidding? You must be one bite short of an apple if you think there's any hope of me believing that!"

or

Fictitious mobile phone manufacturer: "Our phones appear to have poor reception when held because our stupid customers are hold them the wrong way. The 'signal strength formula' feels intimidated by humans and gets it's maths wrong whenever it is in the centre of a fist. This makes the poor innocent little formula accidentally display the wrong number of bars. The call quality appearing to drop is purely coincidental, as is us releasing an insulation cover and recruiting eight new antenna engineers. There is definitely no design floor. Even if there was, it is definitely nothing to do with the very sensitive revolutionary external uninsulated antenna. The antenna is just being ridiculed for being pure genius, by people without any imagination. All you have to do is imagine it works perfectly and you won't find a single fault. This worked just fine for us during testing."

Anyone with at least half a braincell: "They really must be one bite short of an apple if they think anyone is going to believe any of that!"

by iCantMakeCalls July 3, 2010

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


green apple splatters of the mouth

saying ridiculous or awkward embarrassing things that have no context in the conversation.

Can also be described as conversation diarrhea or word vomiting.

That guy was so weird when he couldn't stop talking in that meeting. It was like he had green apple splatters of the mouth.

by mlo0224 April 15, 2010

5๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


kansas city apple fritter

When a man named david eats apple sauce out of a womans vagina.

hey david, what did you do last night? " I gave my wife the kansas city apple fritter

by David's son Richard February 16, 2008

21๐Ÿ‘ 11๐Ÿ‘Ž


a babies arm holding an apple

An extremely large penis.

Wow, that dude Larry, has a humongous dick! It looks like {a babies arm holding an apple!

A snippet of a lyric from the song by the 'Tubes.'

"What do you want from life?"

"A babies arm holding an apple."

by Narvel J. Stimpson October 30, 2015

14๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž