Random
Source Code
Random
When you are taking a shit at midnight and simultaneously beating your meat.
Guy: Damn bro, yesterday I performed an incredible midnight shit, that felt AWESOME
Guy: shit you're a champ
The straight-backed, knee-locked, cheek-clenched speed-walk to the bathroom to take a shit. Happens when you're about to shit yourself but can't run to the toilet because you need total muscle control to keep from shitting your pants. One is often unable to communicate with others because talking might divert concentration from the sphincter.
Man 1: "Did John hurt himself recently? He was walking funny when I saw him a minute ago."
Man 2: "No, Man. We went to Chipotle for lunch and he was probably just taking a Shit Sprint to the bathroom. I think I set a world record when I did the same thing half an hour ago."
A shit in the closet person is someone who is really just a bad, shit and all round poor excuse for a human being who instead of accepting their shitness and making people aware of this they choose to instead hide it, hence the term 'shit in the closet'. Society today is full of shit in the closet people who need to be exposed, some are more crafty than others and are very good at hiding their shitness. when you have had a bad encounter with a shit in the closet person you will often be left with long lasting emotional, heartache and shame. Shame that you let yourself be fooled, tricked or manipulted.
' all italian guys are shit in the closet, they say they love you and that they need you, they bring you flowers but really they are just waiting untill you give them what they want, then you will not hear from them again'
7👍 1👎
Taking a giant shit by the side of the road and leaving it there. Could be in any number of areas including, but not limited to: Iowa, Wisconsin, the Dakotas, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rural New York, anywhere in New Jersey, Appalachia, the South, unpopulated swaths of the American West, and anywhere people wake up after a bender or have driven on a road trip after contracting food poisoning. May or may not include napkins, underwear and undergarments. (Pre-COVID, might also have included cleaning wipes if they were in the vehicle.)
Oh, man, I shit littered off of exit 464 again... I think it was the combo of last night's Toppers and the raw egg burger that may have given me food poisoning.
The act of taking a shit at work and getting paid for the time you spent on the toilet. The person taking the profit shit usually takes their time and wipes excessively as to take up as much time as possible. This is done while still on the clock.
Before I punched out for lunch I took a nice profit shit. I must have made 5 dollars!
The act of shitting in another persons toilet without having the courtesy to flush.
Person 1 "You won't believe what happened"
Person 2 "What happened?"
Person 1 "Another shit and go mate"
Person 2 "Now that's a shit go mate"
Sometimes the only thing you can say to a friend who is getting their ass handed to them by life.
"Hey, how you doing?"
"Not great. I've had three colds this month, I'm broke, I'm not getting laid, I've gained thirty pounds, and the whole world is falling apart."
"Yeah... shit's hard, man."