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Someone who's extraordinarily slow, maybe due to an overconsumption of narcotics.
A: Man, I don't drink wine on Thursdays.
B: It's Friday, you crack turtle.
A crack turtle is someone whose mental capabilities have gone slow due to the excessive use of substances.
Jerry: "Oh man, I just needed two hours to take my morning dump and brush my teeth."
Tom: "You're such a fucking crack turtle, Jerry. You should consider throwing the pipe away."
To sneak up behind someone wearing a hoodie, then inverting the hood on said hoodie, thus making it appear as though the person now has a turtle shell on their back.
This can then be accompanied with shouts of 'TURTLED! TURTLED!' at the victim while simulating a turtle shell on your own back.
*sneaks up behind and flips hood*
Leah: HAH TURTLED
Talon: what does that mean?
Leah: Turtling is when I flipped your hood and gave you a turtle shell!
(adj.) The state of having one's penis pull up into the body and disappear beyond the foreskin, like a turtle's head. More common in overweight men.
Look at that big fat guy over there, he's totally turtling!
When you have to poop really bad and you feel it oozing out your ass
Hey man brb I think I'm turtling
to annoy.
She is hella turtling me right now.
Can you believe it? She's turtling everyone again.
To do turtling, you will need 4 or more people and the class turtle. Each person involved will fuck the turtle and the last person to nut will have to drink all the nut out of the dead turtle.
Me and my class wanted to pull a prank on the teacher, so we decided to do turtling!