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to spank your monkey. to jake off.
"what are you doing?!"
"i'm jaking off! i'm about to gak everywhere!"
"why would you jake off in my car?"
A Jake is someone on xbox usually 12-20 who has 3+ Yes men in the party and thinks the n word is dark humor they arent funny at all and when they tell a joke all the yes men in the party laugh for 5 minutes straight thinks he is cool for being edgy and are almost always bad at the game
Tay- Jake call me a nigger then all the yes men laughed like he is funny
Javon- Typical jake
Dick is very big and he is very skinny and his abs are very tight just like his but
I Fucked Jake and he made me cum
Jake is the best guy you will ever fucking meet. he has great taste in music and has the most amazing hair ever. he's the best friend you'll ever meet and lucky you if you have a Jake. He is loveable and caring and SUPER FUNNY. He has the dirtiest mind to ever exist and constantly makes dick jokes (ofc you join in) He's amazing and has like, BUFF arms. He's athletic and gives good hugs, Loves sweatshirts and sweatpants, and actually looks good in them. You've dedicated Spotify playlists to him and you think of him every time you hear a love song. He likes books about love and you always text at 2 am about them. He is like 6'5 and has the prettiest blue eyes. Although You know you can't have him, You still manage to fall in love with him so now you suffer every time you see him.
Bestie #1: Hey! Have you hung out with Jake recently??
Bestie #2: Omg yes! I hung out with him last night and it was so much fun!
Bestie #1: Honestly, Jake is so amazing and funny and I love him so much!!!!
He's the guy best friend everybody needs and loves, and he has an amazing but dirty sense of humor. He wears letterman hoodies every day and He causes you to crane your neck to talk to him. He has an interesting taste in music and has super buff arms. He has a smile that makes your heart flutter and the most perfect teeth ever. If you have a Jake, NEVER LET HIM GO
Friend: Do you know Jake?
YN: Yeah, We're texting!
Friend: OMG really you're so lucky!
YN: Yeah...He's really amazing
From state farm
Wife: Jake from State Farm at 2 in the morning, who is this
Jake from State Farm: This is Jake from State Farm
A true god that is so unstoppable that he can control time and space with the blink of an eye. They usally have a liking towards bees and often end up as the tax man of state farm. If you ever come across a Jake in battle it will be one of a lifetime and will often end with you paying with your blood or a fine of all your lives worth. The true Jake was said to have been born in -9 bc and was the one who split the time continuam to the way it is now with the 2 timelines, one after christ and the other filled by void and darkness called the negative timeline.