When you are a lot on the internet and dont feel that you are doing much really
I've been almost being like this for..lets say a year
To "hold hands and almost kiss" is a term used in the incel community and for those who have been friend-zoned and often unironically denotes an unrequited interest or unstable platonic friendship.
So what if she's had a boyfriend throughout our friendship!? There HAS to be something between us because of all the times we held hands and almost kissed!