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A dialect of English utilizing esoteric and pedantic words to describe mundane and rudimentary occurrences. Typically, the use of High English is employed subconsciously as an attempt to conceal inadequacies and impress peoples that are sexually attractive.
Two friends are chatting with each other.
John: How was the test this morning?
David: It went pretty well, I mean, like, it wasn't the hardest thing ever.
(Governess, a beautiful girl with perfect eyes, enters the scene and David begins using High English)
John: Hello Governess.
Governess: How was the test for you guys?
David: Well, I was rather perplexed by the absence of questions pertaining to book. Fortunately, we had studied all the relevant material in a previous semester.
Governess: Really? I thought it was hard.
David: Pshaw, I am confident you performed adequately.
47👍 16👎
During morning sex, John Stewart stands over a woman and 1) pinches off two hot crumpets on her chest and then 2) gives her a cup of tea by pissing on her while whistling "God Bless America".
"Now hold still, Ann Coulter, because I, John Stewart, am about to drop a loaf on your shriveled up skankboobs for a lovely English Breakfast. Gooood Bless Americaaaaaa!!!"
3952👍 1804👎
Worse torture than math class.
Person 1: This is soooo haaard.
Person 2: What? Math class?
Person 1: No, english class.
Person 2: I feel for ya buddy...
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When a standing male urinates between the legs of someone sitting on a toilet (who is also urinating). Often done as a sexual fetish or to save time when the bathroom line is long.
Becky: I have to go to the bathroom.
Martin: Me too! English Horseman?
Becky: What's that?
Martin: It's when I pee through your legs while you pee.
Becky: Please go away.
12👍 3👎
International British School in Bogota, Colombia. The school is full of wealthy kids. The yearly tuition at the school costs almost the same as that of private colleges. Many students have personal drivers and sometimes bodyguards.
Many of them end up going to college in other parts of the world, including: the US, UK, France, Germany, Australia, Korea, Canada, Japan, etc. During Middle School they take the British GCSE's and during High School they take IBs. All students are 100% bilingual and many of them are trilingual.
The faculty members at the school are primarily British and very talented. They are also, however, crazy. It is common to see the British faculty partying with underaged students: drinking at bars, drinking at a teacher's home, and there have been quite a few scandals of teachers sleeping or hooking up with students (even on the middle of the dance floor during prom!).
After the year 2000 the school suffered a slight decline in prestige due to the high number of "new rich" enrolling. The "old wealth" at the school was not happy.
Common phrases at The English School:
"I can't believe that guy had sex with our bio teacher during his senior trip!"
"No, I can't go to play squash to the country club, we're going to our private island this weekend."
"I remember when the school did not accept the children of drug dealers ("sigh")"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Donald MacIver (literature and drama teacher) is gay."
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One who has an unhealthy obsession with correcting the spelling, grammar, and pronunciation of others.
"Do you know where to find a coffee shop?"
"Yeah, I seen one back there somewhere."
"Ahem. You mean you SAW one back there somewhere."
"Goddamn, you're such a fucking English Nazi."
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A course in which supposed honors- worthy students are placed in, when in reality half the students are just "good kids." An overwhelming amount of reading is assigned, followed by a lot of essay-writing. It doesn't matter whether the students read the books, or used sparknotes to finish the reading assignments. All that matters is that it can be stated that the students read "x" amount of books during the school year.
Honors Student A: Yo, you did the homework for English?!
Honors Student B: No, I don't think anybody did. Nobody even bothered to do sparknotes.
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