I can't even

I can't even is used by the whitest if white girls. The phrase basically means something the girl can't process due to her lack of knowledge of the world outside of Instagram. Usually followed by the response "Then don't!"

Girl 1: OH MY GOD! They messed up my Starbucks order AGAIN!

Girl 2: Just re-order it then.

Girl 1: I CAN'T EVEN!!

Girl 2: Then don't.

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B's can't be C's

Beggars can't be Choosers

That's all you have? Well, I'm out of money and B's can't be C's, so I'll take it.

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Yes I Can't

The request for something, but usually ends up in a bizzare response from one's perspective.

Can I go to the mall?
Response: Yes you can't

Can you go to the party this weekend?

Response: Yes I can't

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...Can't beat that with a stick!

If you go shopping and get a really, really good price on something, this is another way to say it.

Hey, I went to the store yesterday and got a brand new 42 inch flat screen T.V. for $100....can't beat that with a stick!!

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can't hold water

When you confide in someone and they immediately tell someone else when you told them not to

Cant keep a secret

I told Alicia furtively about my vaginal disease and the next day I found out that she told her boyfriend, and the cheer team! Black people can't hold water for nothing!

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I can't even

When a certain someone gets so excited or upset about something, they resort to talking like a white chick in a Starbucks line.

Gio was so flustered using Promise today that he kept yelling at the computer screen "I can't even" and went home at 4pm.

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can't toot for pootin'

Southern term meaning that one cannot accomplish the goal ahead because a similar goal is holding him or her back. "Can't win for losing."

Jim Bob: Hell I wanna start worshin' them 'maters but I keep findin' bugs in them corn I'm tryin' ta shuck!

Jeb: Boy you can't toot for pootin'!

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