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The Spiky Condom is a shot of alcohol consisting of Goldschlager, Grenadine, Crown Royal, and Red Bull. The shot must be taken quickly and should NEVER be smelled before consumption. The first and most recognizable ingredient, Goldschlager, is the spikes of the Spiky Condom. It is then followed by the Crown Royal which counteracts the "Big Red" flavor making your taste buds pulsate, all while keeping it classy. The Grenadine was chosen for it's deep red color properties, which of course hints at the consequences of a Spiky Condom (Both literally and figuratively). Lastly, the Red Bull puts everything back into perspective by bringing two of your five senses back for a very short period of time. Your vision and your hearing. Use this time wisely as your clear vision and ability to understand people will disappear as quickly as you took the shot.
Bartender: "What can I get you?"
John: "Gimme a Red Bull Vodka, two Jack and Cokes, and 6 Spiky Condoms."
Bartender: "..."
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The most trusted condom on the market
Good thing I had my Trojan Condom because I don't need more kids
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A protective software that blocks infections from porn websites and files.
John: Dude! I think I have herpes!
Doug: That sucks man! Who did you get it from?
John: Some guy named Jason. He emailed me some porn and I opened a file called herpes.exe.
Doug: You need an internet condom man! You can't just enter an infected file like that. I usually wear 2 internet condoms, AVG and Norton.
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A condom that has been in your pocket for a very long time. Very compressed and looks like you've sat on it for 20 days. Only used in emergency's.
"I almost had to use that nasty pocket condom, but I found a black gas station condom thank god."
A completely unreliable and useless individual.
Eric was supposed to be here an hour ago to help us move!
Yeah, well I don't know why you're surprised, he's as reliable as a mesh condom
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To say that one wears an "ear condom" is to imply that one is critical of what others are saying, to the point where they block it all out. Made popular by the Lady Gaga song "Judas".
People kept telling me I could never make it as a professional donkey model, but I put on my ear condoms and tried it anyway!
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Condom anxiety occurs when a guy is totally ready to go and then has to put on a condom, reminding him of the reasons one uses a condom: "Is she going to get pregnant?"; "Does she have an STD?" This frequently results in immediate loss of arousal and inability to perform. This condition is also prevalent among guys that were raised Catholic and taught that birth control is forbidden, calling to mind the fact that premarital sex is also forbidden and causing them to feel guilty about what they are about to do. See "Guilty Penis Syndrome."
"Dude, I saw you leave the bar with that hot chick... How was it? Did you rock her world?"
"Man, she was so into me and everything was going great until I went to wrap it up... I had a nasty condom anxiety attack and couldn't go through with it."
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