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To bidet

A sexual act in which one person lies on the bed with a mouthful of water while the partner places their anus on top of the mouth. The partner on the bed then squirts water up at the anus, cleaning it and providing maximum pleasure

"my anus was pretty dirty the other day, so I got Stacy to bidet me, it was glorious"

by Peter bidet February 4, 2019


Scotch Bidet

The art of washing ones rectum with the shower head after dropping the kids off at the pool.1

There was no toilet paper left in the shop so I've had to resort to using the Scotch Bidet

by Bigcid March 21, 2020


Canine bidet

When you smear peanut butter on your chocolate starfish after pinching a loaf to entice a dog to lick it off, thus cleaning your ass.

I usually prefer the canine bidet to a regular one, but I ran out of skippy.

by Milkbones August 23, 2019


Bidet tears

Bidet tears: when someone's tears are so pathetic you want to wipe your ass with them.

I wish my ex would stop trying to guilt me into a mercy fuck with his bidet tears.

by January 23, 2022


Buddy bidet

When you take a dump and your friend pees down your asscrack to clean it

Hey I ran out of toilet paper, can you give me a buddy bidet

by Jor240 November 29, 2018


Bidet

A word pertaining to a creepy p dough US usurper of the White House named Joe Biden who has unnatural relations with girls in his extended family.

Bidet just missile striked a dozen innocent women and children in Afghanistan.

by BlueNoMatterWho November 15, 2021


Bidet

Giving yourself a bidet

When you poop and the toilet water splashes up at your butthole

Guy 1: I just gave myself a bidet!
Guy 2: you must’ve had a huge poop!

by boboobobobob December 7, 2019