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the act of masturbation to over come the ill effects of hangover.
wow, i feel like shit, why did i drink so much!? the only thing that can help me now is a hangover wank!
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this is often an old shirt or towel which a frustrated bloke beats his meat on to so his milky tears of human love don't stain his favourite aunts mattress
jesus i could do with strangling the one eyed monster!! where's my wank blanket??....yes auntie i'll be down in a minute
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After experiencing a sad moment in your life and you try to cheer yourself up by having a wank but you get no pleasure out of it
My mum just died and I have been wanking for ten hours now and it doesn't even feel good, I just want to feel something. I wish I wasn't having a depressed wank
An AO3 tag used in fanfics, often smut, where the author would be flattered to know the reader got off to their work.
That fic had a "Wank and Tell" tag so I left a spicy comment as soon as I washed my hands
A piece of wood that you put up against your door handle to stop anyone coming in your room.
hey whats he doing with that plank of wood
i think he's gona use it to stop anybody going into his room whiles he's doing stuff, he calls it his wank plank
The act of placing your hand in a freezer for an extended period of time and then proceeding to masturbate. Often used by Alex Birtwistle..
Alex: I really fancy having an eskimo wank tonight, but the freezer is broken.
*Alex cries*|
When you're participating in nofap and you begin to over sexualise things, like apple pies and peanut butter sandwhiches, it's time for a maintenance wank. This keeps your inner sexual deviant at bay, while also reducing the amount of awkward boners you might experience.
Guy 1: "I keep getting stiffies when I see anything that vaguely resembles titties or a vagina, it's killing me."
Guy 2: "Mate, it's time for a maintenance wank. If you don't let off some pressure, your dick is going to take over."