if you don't play the craft, you can't get the shaft

When a girl wants you in her bed, but she doesn't play Minecraft, tell her this.

(me) Bitch I'm tryna start a minecraft server you in or nah?
(Jessica) Make me your bitch ;)
(me) Listen Jessica, if you don't play the craft, you can't get the shaft.

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and if you don't like it pass the blunt to the nigga on your left

an awesome quote from the true gangsta Jimmy from the town of South Park.

Jimmy's Mom: I won't let you go back to that gang.
Jimmy: I will and if you don't like it you can pass the blunt to the nigga on your left

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At least I don't jack off to a picture of my mom

The comeback to end all comebacks. Even superior to Yeah, well your mom was really good last night. Use only when in dire need.

Bob gasped when Bill said the fateful words.

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DON'T YOU LECTURE ME WITH YOUR THIRTY DOLLAR WEBSITE

DON'T YOU LECTURE ME WITH YOUR THIRTY DOLLAR WEBSITE is an internet meme (and website) which revolves around sound effects, mainly meme sound effects, which you can edit and change the speed of, the site has 156 sound effects.

The website can be found by simply searching "DON'T YOU LECTURE ME WITH YOUR THIRTY DOLLAR WEBSITE" on your search engine (primarily google).

Don't you lecture me with your thirty dollar website you bafoon

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You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.

To be caught in a proverbial corner in which you can do or say two things, but either way the outcome is negative.

Your father wants you to take out the trash, and your mother wants you to was the dishes. If you take out the trash, your mother will be upset, and if you do the dishes, your father will be upset. You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.

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We don't believe you, you need more people

A saying taken from a Jay-Z lyric, used basically to call bullsh*t on someone's claims and representations, let 'em know you're not buying it.

Man, f*ck all that, there's no way you're boning Amanda...you? Really? We don't believe you, you need more people!

Yeah, you really meant to do that...whatever, n*gga, we don't believe you, you need more people.

Smoker on the ave was tryna sell me a Louis Vuitton bag he swore was real...I was like I don't believe you, n*gga, you need more people...

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Why don't you tell her yourself?!

This is usually said right before a noxious cloud a rectum bile is inserted into the world as we know it (probably in Tokyo most likely) just before the victim of this bariatric monstrosity of a man-baby SHITS all over you till you disintegrate into actual dust. followed by this you transcend into a world where you meet your dead wife who was brutally stepped on buy the man-baby prior to you tasting his anal gasses that actually fucking killed you. PS sorry bro :)

Husband of wife who was stepped on: "NOOOOO! GOD! TELL HER I LOVED HER!!!"
Man-Baby: "WHY DON'T YOU TELL HER YOURSELF?!"
Fart: BRRRRFFFFFFTTT

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