Random
Source Code
Random
When you tactically bat one out so that you'll last longer should you be lucky enough to get some action later on.
Josephina: Wow, honey! You lasted much longer than your standard 45 seconds tonight.
Esteban: Yes, dear. I got my wank cycles right today in the hope of having prolonged sexual intercourse with you this evening. Thanks for noticing. Two minutes is a new record.
When you've just finished pooing and the moment takes you before you wipe
Aaron: I had a pooey bum wank to your wife last night
Jake: Dude! you could've wiped first!
a hand- job performed by a woman with a vast history of men (skank)
Dude 1 : yo did heather let you get any last night?
Dude 2 : Hell nah man, but she gave me a quick Skank-Wank before i left.
The “Tranq (short for tranquilliser) Wank”.
The wank you execute to help yourself fall asleep at night. More functional than enjoyable!
Am shattered but with so much on my mind, I’m worried I may not drop off…. Definitely going to have a quick fire tranq wank
The random things that happen when you‘re just trying to wank. Especially in combination to watching porn. Doesnt matter if you‘re just starting or already in the midst of it, something just has to happen to stop you.
I was starting to wank when all of a sudden I receive 10 messages, 2 emails and then there is even an incoming call from my mum. I havent gotten any notifications all day until now! Typical wank block!
Moroccan bum wank, or MBW for short.
The receiving individual is restrained on the floor by as many friends/colleagues as required.
The person issuing the MBW is naked from the waist down and parades to the crowd/ audience for a few seconds to music( such as the rocky theme tune).
Then, the issuing party squats over the face of the lucky individual so that their nose is in the crack of the bum cheeks, then the issuer sciffs back and forward !!
Job done!
Dill was late for parade, so pipes gave him a Moroccan bum wank
Man with vague military pretensions who goes out of his way (usually in a somewhat obnoxious manner) to make sure you know about it. Served, but only with minimum effort possible in order to claim the bragging rights. Probably never got shot at.
"Ooh, He's a military man. Cool, right?"
"Dude, He was a Chef in the TA for a few months. Bit of a highest wanking officer if you ask me."