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When you take a girl home and her taint stinks from riding horses on the ranch all day, so you pour a can of peaches on her pussy and use the heavy syrup as lube AND to cover up the smell. Bonus, after sex you get some ice cream, mix with the smashed up peaches, and have a nice snack.
Girl come over here and let me turn you into a texas peach.
texas peach
Text to speech used by somebody who talks to their phone like it is their therapist, and not a robot converting their gibberish inner-monologue.
Usually accompanied by run-on sentences lacking punctuation, often sprinkled homophones with , and frequently reads worse than something written by someone with English as a second language.
Customer: "... I would say that is weigh to much for a bike that cost almost 2 grand, how am I to make sense in spending so much, need a front rim north background should be used on this bike because of the weight of it, I offered to send the rim to you at my cost, your bike mechanics know that they can match true it at 100%, why else would they give me a Saul brush off, I need your cooperation in getting test done, I am a consumer of this spike.."
*30 clauses later*
Customer: "Sorry using SIRI Texas Peach"
Texas phone call massacre:
When a grown man jacks off with a kids sock, and then cums all over laundry in a hotel laundry room; while trying to make a call sticking the phone up his ass while the cops are on the way. (A.K.A.) —no way out.
Ran into a spunion and his occupation was kissing ass, didn’t believe him. So I found out myself next to an elavator. He was commiting a texas phone call massacre.
McLeod, Texas is a small town where the main export is meth. Some are users, some are distributors. If you tell anyone you're from McLeod, Texas, there is a chance someone will ask... "So, do you have any meth?"
This guy was from McLeod, Texas. He was asked by a guy in Atlanta if he had any meth. The guy from McLeod said no.
Strong coffee without cream or sugar.
Pour me a cup of Texas coffee, jakeleg.
A sexual act formed in the oilfields of West Texas.
When a man pumps water into a woman's vaginal cavity and proceeds to have sex with her.
Frac hand 1: Aye wassup bro. That chick last night gave me a West Texas Frac Job.
Frac hand 2: Yo bro you didn't seriously fuck that lot lizard right?
Frac hand 1: Fucked her how Haliburton fucks us!
When you eat spicy food and feel the burn come out the other end.
Oi, I shouldn’t have eaten so many hot wings yesterday, I’ve got a Texas sore throat.