Shelf cooking

Shelf cooking is a phrase coined by blogger, YouTuber, and TV personality Jordan Page, which describes the act of making meals starting First with ingredients you already have in your fridge, freezer, or pantry. You only buy ingredients from the store to supplement those meals-Not the other way around!

Our pantry is really stocked so for the month of May we will be shelf cooking!

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Dane Cook

poop

I just took a massive Dane Cook

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cooked goose

A penis immediately unusable after masturbation.

"Hi Steve would you like to have sex with me?"

"I would like to but unfortunately I have a cooked goose."

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cook a fart

Cooking a fart is when you release gas from your ass while sitting in heated car seats. Because of the heat, similar to food in a skillet on a stove, you get an overwhelming mix of scents and flavors that are intensified. Victims of the pungent odor can often tell what meals were involved in the creation of such farts as well and the aromas almost always beg for a window or two to be cracked.

Man 1: "Why does it smell like broccoli and cheese? Did you just cook a fart?"
Man 2: "We had Quizno's for lunch and yes, I just cooked a fart."
Man 1: "I can taste it. Is that peppercorn steak?"
Man 2: "Why yes, yes it is."

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Dane Cook

I accidentally saw this person on TV. He was telling how he used to be ugly but now is handsome with women falling all over him. He also told other "jokes."

Since I have not seen him on TV in many months, I suddenly missed his brand of absolutely no talent. Today I decided to write a short poem about the "comedian" known as Dane Cook.

I once saw Dane Cook on TV
Irritating the heck out of me
I watched in a trance
As he made faces and pranced
And asked myself, "What morons are paying good money to watch this crap?"

The end

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good cook

A synonym for drug dealer. Often used in texts and slang talk.

" Ronald is a real good cook!"

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cooking with grease

factually stating something, especially when relating to past experiences, in a non-offensive way in order to try to slightly sway someone's opinion.

"Now, we are cooking with grease." (as in, "Now, we are getting somewhere!")

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