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when a women spreads her vaginal lips and massages your penis with them without insertion
you: "rachel's such a tease, she only gave me the illinois rail splitter last night after promising more."
me:" at least you got off"
4👍 2👎
An act of process when a girl orders hot wings for your date, and gets extra hot sauce on the side than proceeds to rubs it on your dick. Than slowly licks it off till her mouth is on fire, than he ejaculates into her mouth to cool down the hotness.
Yo man, last night me and this chick where hanging than she was hungry, than when the food came, she wanted to do the Illinois Hot Stick!
7👍 4👎
A town that is filled with cornfields and beautiful farms but is populated with the most racist, science denying,Trump loving, no mask wearing morons who complain about their beloved chain restaurants being closed due to covid-19 and having to wear masks in the local stores. The Mayor allows restaurants to reject the closing orders of the Governor and put citizens at risk. Their favorite pastimes are having Trump Rally's in front of the local McDonalds, putting up F**k Pritzker signs in their yards and name-calling and demeaning the minority of intelligent people who unfortunately live in the town. The Trumpers who yell the loudest cannot spell or use proper grammer. The town has one of the highest positivity rates in Illinois yet the citizens still crow about "Ma rights" and continue to meet up in large groups and patronize crowded restaurants.
I used to love living in Homer Glen Illinois but now it is filled with the dumbest, most racist people. I don't understand how they afford their $400,000 homes because they can barely string a coherent sentence together. Oh that's right,mom and dad left it to them.
22👍 24👎
A place where residents pride themselves on their "tolerance" of everyone. Filled with many pseudo-hippies, Oak Park people are a pain in the ass to deal with. Oak Park pastimes include: pretending to be original, being elitists, hugging trees, incorrectly thinking they can change the world by holding peace vigils (yes, they actually hold peace vigils),pretending to like folk music, pretending to be political scientists, and being condescending assholes to all those who don't share in their communist beliefs. In short, if I had to live in Oak Park, I would take a gun, put it to my head, and pull the trigger.
Bob: I'm looking to move to a town where I can totally, you know, be very, you know in tune with myself, and be with my very deep thoughts, and be with others who have very deep thoughts, you know, a place where i can, you know, not apologize for being so deep and ethereal, you know, better than everyone because, like i'm so educated, i took an oil painting class once and read an article on climate change.
Jim: move to Oak Park, Illinois you fucking asshole.
60👍 83👎
Two nuggets molest each other violently with a vast array of vegetables in a hot tub.
"Found this kinky skank on tinder so I get to have me an Illinois Stumpy Stew tomorrow"
When you skin a cat, cook its meat, and wrap its skin around the meat like a giant hellish Slim Jim.
Hey Ryan the old lady down the road just bought a cat, wanna kill it and make a Illinois pussy roast?
Sounds tubular broski!
Nailing a fat chick from behind while your buddy gets a blowjob from her. The blowjob recipient must really stuff it in so her panting sounds like snorts in between thrusts. This sometimes happens at biker rallies in Southern Illinois. If the participants are related or if it happens at a family reunion, it is the Southern Illinois Family Porker.
Hey pal, let's see if that chick is up for the Southern Illinois Porker!