i swear on me nans grave

An expression usually used by chavs and the like who want to sound honest and trustworthy. Should (almost) always be interpreted as "I'm lying through my teeth".

"m8 i dont no were ur weed is i swear on me nans grave i dint steal it m8"
"kev i swear on me nans grave i aint never cheated on u"
see also: chav, charver

I don't give (swears)

To express that you don't care about something in a meaner way.

You: GET YOUR FEET OFF THE COUCH!
Me: wdym? I don't give (swears)?!?

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Swear on your mums life

It’s a term / quote to use to be certain you or whoever you’re talking to is telling the 100% truth.

Joe: yo g wys
Jay: nuffin bro wys
Joe: on top of the Eiffel Tower on a joint g
Jay: swear on your mums life mate
Joe: na das dryyyyy

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i swear to drunk i'm not god

Usually said by drunks.
They think they're actually saying:
"I swear to god I'm not drunk."

Unforunately, they aren't.

Guy : I swear to drunk I'm not god!
Police officer: Okay sir, get out of the car.

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I swear to Darwin on a Stack of Gods

the way an athiest or non-believer can express with utmost certainty that they are telling some-one the truth (as far as they know it to be).

"I swear to Darwin on a stack of Gods, Kirk Cameron is a Dumb Dick !!!"

"I didn't drink the last beers in the fridge.....I swear to Darwin on a Stack of Gods."

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About as close as 'fuck' is to a swear word

'Spot on' or 'Perfect'

"Hey mate, did i do this right?"
"That's about as close as 'fuck' is to a swear word."

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I swear on my friggin Yeezys

It means you swear on everything and if disagreed with you’re more than willing to fight because dollar store camera is equipped and world star is calling. Often associated with bread type shenanigans.

I swear on my friggin Yeezys if you wanna fight we gon fight -other person “what, you tryna get on world star?” Yeah I got my dollar store camera on.