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portland

a place that doesn't exist

Kiki: I'm from Portland, guys.

Amanda: Is that in Hogwarts?
Katie: Isn't in Narnia?

by SpreadTheLoveAround March 13, 2017


Portland

A city in Oregon that used to be cool but now has lots of problems with drugs and homelessness

"Downtown Portland has lots of homelessness sadly"

by Saengdao December 29, 2022


Portland

The self-proclaimed capital of weirdness in the USA. Proud home of hipsters, stoners, fat people and fat stoned hipsters. The people pretend to care about the environment despite managing to turn a beautiful spot in the middle of forest, which was just about the prettiest place on earth, into a sea of giant concrete rectangles that reeks of air pollution. When you cross over the Columbia River to Washington, you immediately notice that the air gets cleaner, the rivers get bluer, and so do the skies. Overall the surrounding vicinities of Portland are a great place for kayaking, fishing and hiking. Enter the city itself at your own risk: it's basically a cheaper, shittier version of Seattle, but at least Seattle has the sea planes...

You know you've been in Portland for too long when you realize your waitress at a restaurant has an Adam's Apple.

by Haywood Jablowme Ben Dover August 20, 2023


Portland Log Kiss

When a man is dropping a big poop, the resulting splash of water wets his butthole and scrotum in the aftermath - usually a little traumatizing to the senses.

I took a huge dump last night and got a Portland Log Kiss in return.

by Capo2001 August 10, 2024


Portland Texas

Shitty town in texas near Corpus Christi that no one know or cares about

Where the hell is Portland Texas

by idontcareabanything January 23, 2023


Portland Bear Trap

When an individual, presumably female, streaks in a riot or mostly peaceful protest and a law enforcement officer shoots them in the genitals with bear mace.

Last night at the protest, that cop gave Becky a Portland Bear Trap when she was showing bean to the crowd.

by JoNathan 89 February 17, 2021


Keep Portland Weird

The long-standing slogan of Portland, Oregon, at present ground zero in the new world of American Fascism.

"Be careful what you wish for", he thought, passing the downtown mural that said 'Keep Portland Weird'. Hours earlier, he had been grabbed by heavily-armed, camo-clad paramilitary, thrown into an unmarked van, blindfolded, sped away, dragged into a building, interrogated, and much later dumped back on the street. Portland was getting weird in ways that no one could have imagined.

by Monkey's Dad July 26, 2020