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Sofa Captain

A former US Navy officer who loves watching TV. He often sits with a remote in his hand, patting the sofa as if it were a ship. The most famous Sofa Captain is Captain Earl Pickles, USN Ret.

Earl: Hey Nelson, you want to sit here with your favorite Sofa Captain? I think 'The Flintstones' is on.

Nelson: You are a such a goof! Of course I'll sit there with you.

Earl: (like a sea captain) Aye aye! Clear sailing ahead, matey!

Nelson: (like a sea captain) Arrgh, the goodship Flintstones dead ahead!

Opal: Anybody want some brownies and milk? Sofa Captains needs their snacks, you know!

by Dusty's Baby Powder January 21, 2011


Swag Captain

The best looking person in the room, area, team, family, or etc. in terms of overall appearance including clothing and accessories.

Example: "I wanted to be the swag captain of the football team, but our quarterback has much more swag than me."

Example: "When we went out as a family for dinner, my father was definitly the swag captain of the family, considering his outfit."

by R.B.V. December 26, 2011


quizzing the captain

To masterbate.

Last night my wife walked in on me while I was quizzing the captain.

by Captain Failure the third February 11, 2009


Captain Miranda

A Captain Miranda is a woman who is a leader and an all-around happy chick.

"When I bake my Mother cupcakes, she is one Captain Miranda."

by Shanelle Rochelle October 22, 2009


Captain Hindsight

A stupid ass superhero from the South Park episode Coon 2: Hindsight. He flies around the world providing hindsight after every catastrophy that happens, but doesn't actually do anything helpful. Instead of helping the fire department save lives, he just started bitching about how it could have been avoided. Not to mention how "useful" he was during the gulf oil spill

Rndm Citizen: Look!! It's Captain Hindsight!!! Captain Hindsight: That building shouldn't have been built there. It prevents fire trucks from getting closer to that other building. My job here is done. Captain Hindsight away!!! Everyone: Thank you Captain Hindsight!!!!!!

by Xero _ Manifest October 28, 2010

234๐Ÿ‘ 57๐Ÿ‘Ž


captain black

A great little cigar availble in flavors such as cheery and sweet. Very good and satisfying.

Can i Have a cigar.

For sure, only have Captain Blacks though.

Sweet.

by Mos Def And Kweli are Blackstar February 27, 2005

54๐Ÿ‘ 10๐Ÿ‘Ž


Captain Knots

Ryan Ross's cat that is really FUCKING ADORABLE. Ryan takes lots of instagram pictures of him and makes cat criers everywhere cry even more. Cptn. Knots, when in a picture with Ryan, makes fangirl hearts everywhere melt from the overload of cuteness.

"Oh my God, isn't Ryan Ross's cat so ADORABLE?" "Yeah! Captain Knots is like, the cutest cat ever!"

by theyseemeryden January 13, 2013

28๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž