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one that has mastered the art of wallet fumbling, a stingy person or one that will pinch a penny until POTUS 1-6 is squealing like a little girl
I can be a little tight with a buck. Well, “little” may be somewhat misleading. Ok, ok, I've got my black belt in skinflint. I'm the miser master, the Chuck Norris of Cheap and in my spare time, I like to jam with my band, Penny Pinscher and the Tightwads. Seriously, I play a mean frugal horn.
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Chuck Norris lives on a floating volcano with American Bald Eagles flying around it.
Iraq has no weapons of mass destruction, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
No matter what your mother said, Chuck Norris can tune a fish.
There is no such thing as global warming, Chuck Norris got cold and turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris eats rocks and shits lightning.
Chuck Norris can watch 60-Minutes in 10 minutes.
Will Chamberlain claims to have slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow-Tuesday
Sticks and stones may break your bones but a Chuck Norris-glare can make you shit yourself.
Some scientists believe a meteor killed all the dinosaurs. That's true of you want to call Chuck Norris a meteor.
Chuck Norris loves America. He hates communists. Once he heard a guy was executed for treason, treason is the most un-American thing Chuck Norris has ever heard so he killed himself, went to Hell, ripped the guys face off and uses his face as a loin cloth to this day. He then resurrected himself and slept peacefully.
Chuck Norris is so American that when he gets interrupted during sex, he gets red, white, and blue balls.
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Someone you do NOT want to fuck with.
Do not fuck with chuck norris, or you will get roundhouse kicked in the face faster than you can say nothing.
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He is the most awesome person and will pwn ur face with his unstopable roundhouse kick. He is also the king of the universe.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars, thats why there no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris invented water.
China used to border North America, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it through the Earth and up the other side.
Automobiles were made to get away from Chuck Norris, not be outdone he invented the car accident.
The reason why the universe is expanding is because it is trying to get away from Norris.
The Boogyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night.
Spiderman was bit by a radioactive spider, Chuck Norris was bit by a radioactive god.
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God created Adam and Eve.
He got bored with Adam, so created Chuck Norris.
Chuck got pissed, so killed Adam, and fucked the bejesus out of his wife.
He populated the entire earth, because all of the sperm roundhouse kicked the eggs into coming into the womb to be fertilised.
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THE fu**in mightiest man on earth.
1000 of years ago, there was nothin. Then Chuck Norris came in the game, roundhouse kicked the nothin an said:"Go an get sum work!" This kick is know as the "big bang".
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If the world came to an end, Chuck Norris would save all, and kill us himself.
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