granny ash

1. a long and usually unstable column of ash that occurs from not ashing a burning cigarette

2. cremated remains of a female grandparent

"When I woke from the drunken haze, I watched helplessly as the huge granny ash crumbled from my Virginia Slim, onto the rug."

"The eulogist tripped while holding the urn, and the mourners were covered in granny ash."

12👍 6👎

green grannies

When you've experienced spinach colored fesces all day long and now it has resulted in green skidmarks on your grannie pannies.

Moesha: "Girl, what be that rank smell?"
Buca Buca: "Ah shoo girl, it just be some green grannies."

12👍 5👎

grab-a-granny

The best thing to do when you are dumped by your girlfriend. go out and pull an old bird. the game consists of a pack of young males who attempt to shag the brains out of an attractive OLDER woman. Fuelled by booze these young males are letting themselves in for months of ribbing. Another problem is; when on boxing day, this one night stand turns up and is your mum's best friend, or dad's ex.

Alternatively, grab-a-granny could mean mugging a female pensioner.

Mark: "Oh no, i'm crushed. My janine has dumped me. Oh, woe is me."
Keith: "No worries bud. We're out tonight and we'll partake in grab-a-granny"

OR

Baz: "I need some cash for some crack and a whore."
Bez: "Ok, let's grab-a-granny, and claim it was noel edmonds."

64👍 45👎

Granny convoy

The build up of traffic behind an elderly person who refuses to approach the speed limit, often results in convoy participants being late.

I missed my own wedding because I was stuck in the back of a granny convoy.

30👍 18👎

granny fanny

The ost smelliest horriblist thing ever in the world. it has the smell of 80,000 corpses and looks like a giant squid giving head.

" ohh my god ur granny fanny is tickly"
"eeuuuggghhh dude"
"does that thing have a moustache"

58👍 40👎

granny dipping

1. Having sexual intercourse with an extremely old woman.

2. Nasty dirty old person sex.

Mitch: Omg dude. That chick you had sex with is like 53!

Derrick: Is that wrong.

Mitch: Yes... Granny dipping is wrong...

13👍 6👎

old grannies

Don't google!
You will be scared.
(Also don't search ancient grannies for your own good).

"I googled old grannies and death can't come sooner"

14👍 7👎